My world turned upside down; my body is not my own.

Ok, show of hands, who here has ever said words that have come back to slap them in the face? Well, if you just nodded in agreement, you're not alone.
This is exactly what happened to me today when I decided to reread my last few blogs hoping to spark a writing cord. Instead what it led to was my jaw hitting the floor.
I guess I must share a personal aspect of my life if I expect you to get the affect of why I sit with my mouth gaping at my own words. Well, my friends, on May 4 I was slammed with a huge trial...

Stroke or not a stroke? That was the question. Paralysis of my right side and inability to swallow normally was certainly reason for concern. No 37 year old expects to experience that.
Now, two and a half months later, I have been blessed to have made great progress. But if I'm honest, I still feel as though I've been thrown into an alternate universe. I am faced with questions that I don't have answers to and a whole new set of challenges. I admit, seeing them written down makes me feel selfish, but I will humble myself and admit them: My unlimited amount of hyper energy that has always allowed me to call sleep a waste of time is now limited to all my efforts going toward daily functions. The wife who could slide across the wood floor into her husbands arms while dinner cooked and laundry washed is slow as a turtle. The mom that could give her kiddos a run for their money in a race and jump on the trampoline is missing. The carpool mom that always has the maximum amount of passengers is at the mercy of others to drive her where she needs to go. The church secretary that is so excited to be a part of the ministry is now told even a few small tasks is too taxing and exhausting her body. It feels I am no longer me. I'm not gonna lie...it's hard! So, I've found myself asking...What do I do now?

Whew, that was an awful display of a pity party! Anybody still with me? Well, to anyone who managed to plow through that list of whimpers, let me say this...
Just one week before this terrible thing happened to me I wrote a blog titled "My Remedy". Rereading this has given me a jab in the side; not because I said things that were wiser than any other advice I've been given. It's just crazy that, completely unaware of what I would suffer, I wrote words that would challenge me to live out my faith regardless the circumstances and remind me of my beliefs. Of all things, why did I write about my remedy and the benefit of struggles?....THAT IS THE LORD! I'm reminded of who I am.
I serve an awesome God who loves me and will never leave me. He is completely capable of using me to bring Him glory no matter my circumstances. I am praying now to continue to have the courage to be joyful in all things and praise Him in this storm. My body is His; it's not my own.

"Rejoice always, Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Feel free to read "My Remedy" and let me know what you think.