They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom.

On Friday I'm leaving for Iowa City for my first writer's workshop. The specific program is called The Literary Fabulist, and it's part of the Iowa Summer Writing Festival.

Since I'm calling myself a writer and seeking agents for my book, I figured the University of Iowa, one of the strongholds of American fiction education, would be a good place to check out.

I'm staying (hopefully) at a bed and breakfast, renting a car, and flying my ass into corn country so I can meet cool writers and learn how to make my book suck less.

I'm sure the workshop will be an odd and refreshing entity, since whenever I travel I manage to get myself lost or stumble into a backwoods karaoke bar and listen to an elderly fire chief sing the Ronettes.

Also, here's Gary Oldman as a pimp with dreadlocks in True Romance.