My Mutant Super-Power
Yes, as many have suspected, I am a mutant. I have a mutant super-power. But as super-powers go, it’s pretty lame. It would’ve been really cool if I had the ability to heal very quickly, or fly, or control metal objects, or generate ice, or heat. (Although, my wife does say I sweat like a pig when I sleep, but that’s not a super-power.) No, my mutant ability is nothing like that, sadly. What is my mutant ability, you ask? (And even if you didn’t ask, but are still reading, I’ll tell you anyway.)
I grow mutant hairs.
Yes, as astounding as this sounds, it’s true. These mutant hairs grow singly in odd places on my body, and they appear at irregular intervals. When a mutant hair does appear, it is just suddenly there seemingly overnight (or perhaps instantly) and it grows to a length of about three quarters of an inch. One grows right between my eyebrows. (And, no, I don’t have a unibrow—it’s just one hair!) Another grows in the middle of my right eyebrow. Another grows on my right earlobe. These hairs are annoying, but when I see them, I simply pluck them.
The mutant hairs that bother me the most are the ones that I can’t see: the ones in my nose. The nose-hairs don’t stick out like any normal, self-respecting nose-hair should. No, they grow inside my nose, usually right inside the tip of a nostril. Then they curl. Then they await their chance to strike like a ninja.
This despicable attack invariably occurs at the worst possible moment: in the middle of a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert or broadcast. In fact, one such insidious teenage mutant ninja nose-hair attack occurred last night during the Pioneer Day Concert.
It was right at the beginning of the finale. Suddenly, without warning, the inside tip of my right nostril began to itch. Horribly. We’re not talking an annoying itch. I can handle an itch that is merely annoying. No, this was a devastating, all-consuming itch. It was as if a bomb of itching powder had exploded inside my right nostril.
And as any member of the Choir can tell you, there is absolutely nothing you can do about such an itch. I mean, if your voice suddenly goes out or you get a “frog in your throat”, you may be uncomfortable, but you can fake it—you can simply mouth the words. But you absolutely must not do something that looks bad on camera or draws attention to yourself. So, if you have the sudden urge to sneeze, you just have suppress it. And if you have a sudden, nasty itch, you absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, scratch it.
And like I said, last night, I had a major twitching mutant nose-hair attack right as the finale began. It was awful!
When I first joined the Choir and my mutant power would launch a dastardly sneak attack, I would pray very hard for the itch to go away. But that never worked, no matter how hard I pleaded with the Lord. So, like any good military man, I realized that I needed to analyze the enemy attack and employ a different tactic.
After much reconnaissance and analysis, I determined the following:
God had given me my mutant ability.
God does not make mistakes.
I was called to the Choir so that I could share the Spirit through music.
Failure was not an option.
Therefore, I needed to implement a new strategy. I decided that, rather than praying for the itch to go away, I would pray for the strength to endure—not only to endure, but to do so with a smile on my face, a twinkle in my eye, joy in my heart, all while staying on pitch and rhythm.
The apostle Paul spoke about a “thorn in the flesh” in 2 Corinthians 12. This was some type of physical ailment that made life difficult for the apostle. (Perhaps it was mutant nose-hairs.) He prayed three times to the Lord and asked that it be removed. In response to Paul’s supplications, the Savior said, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Paul then said, “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
In other words, he humbly accepted the trial and relied on the Lord to help him overcome it.
We all have our challenges, great and small. Some are self-inflicted. If our burdens are self-inflicted, repentance is always required. The Lord will help us to repent. Some challenges are inflicted by other people. Some are given to us by God.
We can pray for the Lord to remove our burdens. And sometimes, He will. But when He does not remove them, we can pray for the strength to bear our burdens and overcome our challenges.
He will always help us to do that.
And we will become stronger and better in the process. And when we learn to bear our own burdens with the Lord’s help, we can help others to bear theirs. Then we become more like Him.
