Of Bedtime Rituals and Rocking Chairs of Doom

I originally posted this to Facebook after a particularly trying evening. With encouragement (apparently, this is a shared struggle), I'm re-posting an enhanced version here. Enjoy!

Bedtime, toddler edition:
7:45 pm - Announce "It's story time!" because that gets a better response than the dreaded "B" word.

7:46 pm - Wrestle toddler into bathroom. Put toothpaste on toddler toothbrush. Watch as toddler manages to escape during the .08 of a second both hands are required to recap the toothpaste.

7:47 pm -...