And the world turns smoothly on...

So I was sitting at my desk today, right after the students all left, eating a sandwich. And my uterus gave a mighty red throb and shouted, "BITCH!"

I gasped, whimpered, downed two Advil, doubled over, and whimpered, "Why?"

And my uterus drank in the drugs, gave a smug, evil throb, and retreated in gloating silence. "You know, heifer. You thought you could skip our little chat for three months running?"

Uhm, not to alarm anyone, but I think I'm going to start my period soon. Just a hunch, ...