Married at First Sight – Would You Do It?
Dating on Reality TV
As someone who watches a lot of reality television, I am fascinated by dating shows. I watch them all – Millionaire Matchmaker, every program in the Bachelor franchise, and the ones that don’t make it for a long run. I even like the hoax shows like the Joe Schmo Show and Joe Millionaire and the more bizarre Dating in the Dark. With book deadlines looming ahead of me I plan to skip MTV’s new show Dating Naked though I can imagine it will be quite interesting. I think I’m too old-fashioned (or maybe just too old) to watch people dating sans garments. Where’s the mystery, the build-up for romance when everyone is in their birthday suit from the get go?
Married at First Sight
But those shows pale in comparison to the social experiment facing participants in the new show Married at First Sight. The show asks cast members to do exactly what the name implies. Four experts use scientific measures to choose the perfect match for contestants – a psychologist, a sociologist, a sexologist (if that’s really a thing), and a spiritual advisor (who is from Harvard which offsets the questionability of the sexologist). Using their expertise, extensive psychological testing, and other questionnaires, they match three couples with their “perfect match”. Now this I gotta see!
What Makes a Match?
The psychologist in me is obsessed with what makes couples match up anyway. I mean, watch the first episode of any season of the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, and you will find that good looks and a promising career don’t necessarily give a person a leg up for finding love. Actually, research shows us that when it comes to coupling, water seeks it’s own level when it comes to matching people by most sought-after traits. For example a person considered to be an eight usually winds up with a partner who is also an eight. This works the same way for intelligence and mental stability. (You know that guy who is always attracting the “crazy girl”? Yeah, there’s a reason for that.)
Why Can’t People Find Love on Their Own?
One of the premises of Married at First Sight, and the reason they have the couples marry, is because in our world today it’s too easy to bail when a relationship gets too difficult. A little hardship and most people cut and run. They’re on to the next person. Patty Stanger of the Millionaire Matchmaker calls it BBD when a person is always looking over the head of the date they’re with, looking for the “bigger, better, deal.” It is hard to focus on the one in front of you when human nature tells us the grass is greener with that guy with the washboard abs. Surely he’s a better catch than the guy standing right next to you, right?
The romance author in me is dying to watch the potential romance unfold between the couples on this show! My current husband and I fell in love after years of friendship. I was surprised to find that true, passionate love with all the chemistry and butterflies can actually spring from a strong friendship. Prior to that I was a believer that you either had chemistry with someone or you don’t. But these days I believe love and the sparks that go along with it can ignite where and when you least expect it.
Will It Work?
So do I think the experiment on Married at First Sight is going to work? My guess is that at least one of the couples will decide to stay married. I’d like to think it would be all three. But even one success story is better than the Bachelor‘s track record for it’s contestants finding true love. Rumor has it the Biggest Loser has created more couples, and I know Survivor has created some love matches. But I will keep watching the Bachelor and the Bachelorette, rooting for them to find love. After all, the reason we’re so obsessed with how to find love is because there is a magic to it that can’t be quantified, a mysteriousness about it that can’t be predicted or understood by science or television producers. But just in case they ever do figure it out, I want a prime spot viewing it from my couch.
How about you – would you agree to marry someone “at first sight” if the people choosing your mates were experts? Leave a comment and tell us what you think.
Normandie Alleman is a former psychologist who spends her days penning erotic romance novels. You can find her books here.
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