Don’t be a Limp Noodle!
Every time I open up my trusty email inbox expecting wonderful amazing things, what I find can be considered not only humorous but disturbing. There’s always something having to do with work, the usual Twitter notification, Facebook junk, and sometimes a great store coupon that I can’t wait to use. But more often than not, I’m finding things that leave me scratching my head. Let us take the frequent email from a penis enlargement company for instance. First of all let me clear something up, I do not, or have ever had a penis…I’m a GIRL!! Unless these companies know something that I don’t, its safe to say that I will always be a female. There may be an unforeseen event in my life that changes this, but just for shits and giggles, let say that I will NEVER have a penis. But I would have to say that if I did, the chance to make it larger might be somewhat appealing. I just can’t help but laugh when I see in the subject line “Don’t be a limp noodle”. I wish I could say they were talking about a great way to cook pasta, but alas, it’s just another ploy to entice me into buying the latest boner meds. No thank you, I think I’ll be passing on that grand opportunity. I honesty don’t check my spam folder all that much, but when I do, it’s an event that can’t be missed. Laughter ensues, there might be a slight bit of pants peeing(hey, I said MIGHT!). I also find that I am a millionaire. Yeah that’s right, by the time I add up all the offers to GIVE me money, I’m rolling in the dough like a pig in mud. Sometimes I sit back and dream of the many islands and shoes I would buy with that amount of cash, but the dream is shattered when I find out I am required to travel to India or Antarctica to retrieve said funds. I’m not big on curry or the cold, so I’ll stay home and dream away. But I do wonder how many people fall for those kinds of offers? Is there some poor guy sitting at home with a stockpile full of boner pills? If so, he probably has so many he gives them out as treats at Halloween. Or maybe he donates them to a local nursing home, after all, the geriatric crowd deserves a good time too right? Who knows, maybe the money offers, free cars, and enhancement medications are a good thing and I’m missing out by being such a cynic. Or maybe I’m thinking with my big head and staying out of trouble. Either way, my noodle is staying right where it’s supposed to be…in a pot of boiling water, slathered in sauce, surrounded by tasty balls, of the meat kind of course.
