Escape From the Planet of the Ants

Do I look a little put out in this photo? Well, it is because I was! The whole saga started with this:

See all those little dots on the wall over the trash can in the should-be-catio? Those are ants, and they have been a problem since we moved in here nearly eight years ago!

My human followed this trail up to the ceiling of the half bath. Nothing gets rid of these ants for long and they get into everything, everywhere. Finally, the humans couldn’t take it anymore and called an ant exterminator. He said the problem was so bad that the house and property would have to be sprayed inside and out, and everybody would have to vacate the house for several hours. This was easier said than done. Have you ever tried finding a place to park three cats… and their stuff?

Fortunately, a friend of my human’s lives just a few blocks away, and part of her house could be closed off into its own little area. (In case you are wondering, my human’s boyfriend was playing a show out of town and his brother took the dog for a couple of days.) The ant exterminator guy said the poison he was using to kill the ants wasn’t harmful to pets — at least after it dried, but my human wasn’t taking any chances. She packed up all our toys, beds, loungers and litter boxes to take over to her friend’s. It was a big ordeal that took several trips.

She stashed most of our things in her friend’s garage and only took the necessities into the rooms. Yes, she even took that confounded pillow.

We cats were not happy about having our morning naps disrupted by being tossed in carriers and dragged to a house that had to be at least 5 minutes away! We were all upset. After Binga checked out the bed, she hid in the bathroom for hours, yelling.

There was a small room with a table where my human set up a temporary office. Boodie spent most of her time hiding in there because Binga and I hissed at her every time we saw her. In fact, Binga and I hissed at each other too. We were all totally put out by this terrible inconvenience.

My human tried to make us feel at home by bringing up some of the scratch loungers and showing us that we had a nice view of the backyard, but we didn’t care.

I just wanted to go home. But my human didn’t take us home until the next morning! Can you believe it?

Instead she left us to hang out with her friend and eat nachos and drink margaritas! I could hear them yakking up a storm about people they knew and writing stuff.

Even worse, she hung out with her friend’s two cats! This one is called Aidan, and we actually got to meet him briefly in the morning when we were back in our carriers and on our way home. I think he wanted to be friends, but we were a little distracted.

The only good thing about the evening was that my human remembered to vote in the Petties.

Bedtime was a nightmare. The only one of us who got any rest that night was Binga. She commandeered the bed and growled if me or Boodie tried to get on it.

I had to spend the night on the nightstand. It made me sad. Boodie was happy because she got to wander around while me and Binga were having bed wars and ignoring her.

We were so relieved to go home the next morning. Binga was disgusted with the whole ordeal. At least we didn’t have to worry about the stupid ants anymore.

Oh, wait a minute….

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!