History of the Ingglisera: How to address the lesser Baldwins

In Emotional Weather Report, today in the Philippine Star. If the judge-inquisitor had been The Baldwin, Alec, instead of the lesser sibling, our answer would be: "None whatsoever since we are perfect, but the biggest mistake you ever made was marrying Kim Basinger instead of us. By the way, we actually love you more now [...:]