I’m Not Perfect

I’m just now starting to come to terms with something.

It seems like from all apparent reasons it should be obvious, but it’s not.

I’m not perfect…no duh right?  But it is a duh moment for me.

You see, I’ve lived my whole life feeling like I have had to have everything together…my job, finances, house, family.  You name it.

And the sad part?  I believed that I was practically perfect.

I believed it so much it led me to being fake, it led me to striving so hard to look a certain way, act a certain way, and talk a certain way. My whole life it was, do what this person wanted, say what they want to hear, say what they expect, or you won’t be good enough.

This led to building walls around the real me….until I can’t even see myself anymore they are so thick.

Everything I’ve ever done wrong, there was a reason why it wasn’t my fault, there was something that caused it.

Of course this was just bull-s@*!

Just one more way to avoid looking as if I was imperfect.

It’s a heck of  way to make yourself miserable.  A heck of a way to distance yourself from people.

Now I know, you might be thinking, no….you?  The one who writes all these inspiring blogs about changing the world, following your dreams, and going after the important things?

Yep.

Truth is I don’t take my own advice half the time because God forbid I might look imperfect in going after those things.

Truth is I suck sometimes.  I do.  I don’t say this in a depressing/emo sense, I say it just as a fact.  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and sometimes I suck.

Me, who has everything together, is very imperfect.

The crazy part?  That’s ok….

My wife who is amazing for putting up with a very stubborn/fake person a lot of times, told me a great quote “Imperfections are not inadequacies”.