How I Survived a Book Tour Without Stabbing Myself in the Neck With a Fork

There are less tortuous ways to make a buck than organizing your own book tour. Like holding a stake in place while a blind person takes a whack at it with a sledge-hammer. That would be a cakewalk compared to traipsing the countryside in search of a readership. It's like searching for leprechauns. Not that I've ever done that. (Okay, once.)

I've had a few Come to Jesus moments when I've asked myself why. Why spend the money, invest the time, practice the speech, dust off the interpersonal s...