So this is what it feels like
As I went through my day today I was having flashbacks of my grandmother. Perhaps because it was my own grandson’s 4th birthday yesterday. My Gram was an amazing lady, some of you will have read other blogs in which I have talked about her.
I can remember being a child of about five and staying at her house. My mom was away, perhaps having my little sister, I’m not really sure. But my older brother and I were having a sleepover of sorts at her house. She had this bedroom downstairs that had a huge bed in it. Grandma always made us pork chops, mashed potatoes and cream corn while we were there. For dessert and snack she had these homemade coconut oatmeal cookies we would make together. They were kept in a red apple cookie jar that clunked when you tried to sneak a cookie.
Grandma had a dog, I seem to think her name was Taffy or something like that. She was a small dog, tan in colour. She also had a black Siamese cat named Midnight. Her yard was fenced with a white picket fence and she had wonderful flowers and a vegetable garden. My family lived in the same village as her on and off for years so I often saw her everyday.
Grandma drove a blue boat of a car, Pontiac I think. She would take me to town with her when I stayed there to get groceries and sometimes we even stopped at the library. She would change from her house dress and put on a town dress and gloves, grab her purse and hat and we would be off. She even let me put lipstick on from her avon stash. She always bought these lotto tickets that the winning numbers aired on TV, during Edge of Night which was her favourite program. While that program was on we were to be still and quiet, and then we could check the ticket with her.
As I grew older my Grandma moved to town and I continued to be very close with her. I would go with her for lunch at the local co-op as much as possible. Always remembering to steal a piece of chocolate from her noisy candy dish, she would always say “only one Sandra”. Lol
When I started having my own kids in 1987 my grandmother and mother were both a big part of things. I remember visiting with both either by phone or in person nearly every day. As the years progressed Grandma would confuse me with my mom, my daughter with me. But she was still my gram. Then she got hurt and it seemed like overnight she died. I took her for lunch one day, and a few days later she was in hospital and died. It was 1995, I was devastated. She had always been there for me, just as I was always there for her.
She has always continued to live on in my memories and my heart for all the beautiful moments we had. I know she would be proud of all I have done in this life. Not a day has passed that I don’t miss her, but I know she watches over me and she is taking care of my daughter in heaven until I get there myself.
Many years have passed since then, and now I’m a grandma. It’s the modern age though and I get different guilty pleasures with my grandchildren than she did. I found myself thinking about this the other day when my grandson and I shared a FaceTime call so he could show me his birthday party stuff and tell me about his day.
I send him and his little sister cards and letters just like my grandma used to do for me, but instead of a dollar it’s now five or ten! Lol. I visit often at their house and take them shopping and to play at the park. My granddaughter recognizes my voice over FaceTime and comes to put herself into the picture.
I remember asking my Gram when I was small, how old she was one time, and her answer was old enough to be a Grandma. I know what that feels like now. I also know that my grandchildren will grow up to know how much their Grandma loves them, just like I did.
