Baseball players upset by Lopez contract

(Hanque Faux News Network)

Major League baseball players expressed outrage today over the size of Jennifer Lopez's contract.

A union official who talked only under condition of anonymity said, "I doubt if she can catch a baseball and I'm sure she can't hit a fast ball, so why is she worth all that money?  We have major league players who can catch and hit and they don't earn anything near that much.  We have notified every owner and the MLB that the players demand a raise of one million a year...