QUICKLY, PLEASE

Most of my life, I've been in a hurry.  Patience is a virtue, not mine.  Do it! Do it now! Do it right or get out of my way and I'll do it myself!
 I wasn't always like this.  As a child I recall lazy summer days lying on my bed,the smell of  freshly mowed lawn and Lilacs drifting in my window as I day-dreamed or read. 

I think it started when I began to have children. One, two, three, oh here comes four, oops five.  Suddenly, there was no time to dawdle.  There were clothes to wash, children to bathe, meals to prepare, doctor appointments, shopping and family gatherings.  No! Please don't pour maple syrup on your brother's head!  We don't have time for this!  Get that cleaned up, quickly now, we're going to be late. By the time the last child was presentable enough to leave the house, the first one had gotten dirty.  I remember being ready to walk out the door, frazzled, quickly running out of patience, only to find my son sitting on the toilet backward, marching in the water with his new sneakers on.  Really?

Over time I became a pint-sized Drill Sargent.  "Do you kids realize if I have to tell each of you 5 times to clean your room, I've said it 25 times!!!"
"If you call Mommy one more time, I'll change my name!  Go to sleep!"
 "Helen?"  (My name is NOT Helen, it really isn't)

I became the Queen of Quickies.  Seriously, I could climax 3 times in 10 minutes, maybe less.  We did it everywhere, went parking on the way to the store if we could find someone to mind the kids, in the bathroom, with me sitting on the washer (he's tall), we were quick and stealthy, like sex ninja's.

My job outside of the home was working with the frail elderly or disabled  I was usually the first one in, assessing the situation and making referrals to the proper agencies.  I guess I was still kind of a Drill Sargent, not with my clients but with those who were to serve their needs.
"No they can't wait till next week!  They need it now, actually yesterday.  Yes I know your busy but this is critical. Are you telling me you won't take this referral?  I just want your name for my records so that the proper agency can bear the responsibility WHEN MY CLIENT FREEZES TO DEATH, OR STARVES OR DROPS DEAD FROM LACK OF MEDICAL ATTENTION!  Yes, thank you, see you tomorrow."

So, now that I'm older and my kids are grown you would think I would have more patience.  I'm retired for God's sake.  I should relax, take it easy, that sort of thing, but no. I hate waiting, I hate being shuffled to the back burner and I absolutely abhor having smoke blown up my ass, not literally of course.  If you tell me you're going to do it, do it now, do it right and if you can't, I'll get somebody who can or I'll do it myself.

End of rant.  Have a nice day.
Go visit some of the other blogs before I have to do it myself!
Just kidding.
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