Is Your Human a Lap Human?

According to humans, lap cats are highly desirable. When cats doze on humans’ laps, it calms them down, lowers their blood pressure and puts them into a Zen-like state. It’s a very beneficial thing for a cat to do for a human.

That said, not every human qualifies as a lap human. Take mine for example. She is very squirmy and fidgety and the only time she is still for more than a few seconds is when she is unconscious (i.e., sleeping) — and even that is not guaranteed. So my human does not get much in the way of lap time, unless she is napping. And of course she is not sitting when she is doing that.

Having a squirmy, fidgety human made me sit down think: what, exactly, goes into making a good lap human? So I’ve put together a list.

Able to sit still for long periods of time. From 45 minutes to several hours is good.
Owns lap-promoting furniture such a squishy sofa, comfy chairs, recliners, etc.
Watches a lot of TV. Humans who have special TV shows that they watch religiously are good lap candidates.
Reads a lot of books. This can be either physical books or eBooks. The medium does not affect their ability to be good lap humans.
Has great bladder control.
The ability to sleep sitting up is a plus.
Lap humans don’t have to be lazy… but the lazy ones do make great lap humans.

Tell me… how does your human measure up?
* * *
Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!