QK Round 2: RV Arya versus Girl Destroys World
Entry Nickname: RV AryaTitle: The Raven Queen’s RevengeWord count: 40KGenre: MG Fantasy
Query:
After her dad moves out—for good this time—eleven-year-old Sylvie’s mom takes a job as a Louisiana state park campground supervisor, moving Sylvie and her pesky sister into a stinky RV. Ticked off and lonely, Sylvie wants to be back home with her own bed, her own stuff, and her dad.
One day Sylvie and her sister follow a fox into the woods, where they meet Lowell, a local kid whose dad is a park ranger. Lowell insists he can help Sylvie and her sister find the fox he scared off, but he loses the trail and leads them into an alternate world—Wiledyn. Frustrated with herself for following an annoying boy she hardly knows, Sylvie smashes a strategically-placed old, blue bottle against a tree, freeing hundreds of ravens . . . and their queen.
Raven Queen Keres—furious after spending the last seventeen years imprisoned, which gave her plenty of time to plot her revenge—seals all the exits from Wiledyn, confining her enemies while also trapping Sylvie, her sister, and Lowell in the crossfire of a power battle. Now Sylvie must protect her sister as they hunt down the Raven Queen, force her to unseal the exits, and—if Sylvie has anything to say about it—make her pay for the destruction she’s caused. With the help of a talking fox, a pair of cheery goblins, and a childlike druid, Sylvie and her companions struggle to return to the one place Sylvie wanted more than anything to escape: her home.
First 250 words:
Sylvie patted more dirt, wet her fingers in the plastic bowl, and sculpted the muddy mound in front of her. She looked back and forth between her mud creation and the folding, laminated field guide.
Not quite.
She squished and smoothed, then reexamined. Just over two inches. Tapered ends. She’d even added a few wild blackberry seeds.
Ha, nailed it! Best fox scat replica yet.
After snapping a close-up with her iPod, Sylvie stepped back for a group shot. Louisiana black bear, nutria, eastern cottontail, Virginia opossum, white-tailed deer, Northern raccoon, and now red fox. This had to make her some sort of campground expert on the subject.
She packed the replicas in their plastic shoe box, except the fox one. It had to bake in the sun a few hours before she could move it. Her dad would want to see her collection, but it wasn’t like he was going to drive four hours for it. Your father’s very busy, Sylvie. She’d been considering some sort of museum set-up and charging admission. She was sure a few weekenders would swing by, if only to check out the weird girl and her sun-baked mud poop museum. She didn’t care. Not if she could get a dollar out of each of them.
A flash of red near the trees caught her eye, but when she turned . . . nothing. No movement, no fox, nothing. Wishful thinking, she figured.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Girl Destroys World
Title: MAGICK 7.0
Word count: 85,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
There are two kinds of quests: the good kind and the bad kind. The good kind leads to pots of gold and unicorns and everlasting fame. The bad kind gets you and everyone you love killed. Horribly and painfully. Possibly by zombie sharks.
Fourteen-year-old Anne is leaving the orphanage she calls home to embark on a quest—and it isn’t the good kind. That’s what happens when you accidentally fulfill a prophecy. She could opt out, but then as per Paragraph 5 Subparagraph 3 of the Official Questing Regulations she’d be exiled forever and all of her friends would be tossed into a dungeon. But hey, at least she has options.
The goal?
Slay a silver dragon that doesn’t exist (that’s bad).
In just three days (that’s worse).
With only the help of a wizard with a platypus for an arm, a disgraced academic with no practical experience, a fused-together dwarf and elf, and a sassy holographic sparrow (that downright sucks).
Oh yeah, and to top it all off, what Anne doesn’t know—what no one knows, in fact—is that finishing this quest doesn’t actually save the world. It destroys it (so, you know, not exactly environmentally-friendly).
If she uncovers the truth before it’s too late, she’ll be a HeroTM.
If she doesn’t, everyone dies (that also sucks).
First 250 words:
At Saint Lupin’s Institute for Perpetually Wicked and Hideously Unattractive Children they didn’t play favorites. Each orphan was treated with the same amount of disdain and neglect. They were provided with one threadbare tunic, one pair of ill-fitting shoes, and one dusty and moth-eaten overcoat. They were given a daily ration of gruel, and they were bathed exactly once per month, just before going on duty in the coal mine. This, incidentally, was consistent with the advice given in the popular self-help guide, How to Raise Orphans and Make Money.
There were three ways to leave Saint Lupin’s. The first was to get adopted. Perhaps by a nice family who would whisk you away to your long dreamed-of castle on a hill—one surrounded by forests and glens, filled with interesting and friendly people, rich with history and bright with promise and hope. The board of governors was extremely pleased with its track record in this regard as it had managed to prevent all adoptions since the Institute’s foundation.
The second way was to reach the age of fourteen and be unceremoniously kicked out on your bottom.
The third way was to embark upon a quest. Although quests were heavily regulated (so they could then be heavily taxed), there were no restrictions regarding age or background and thus anyone could apply. The secret to a successful application was first to fulfill a prophecy (also heavily taxed). At Saint Lupin’s, both of these topics, that is, quests and prophecies, were considered particularly taboo subjects of inquiry.
Query:
After her dad moves out—for good this time—eleven-year-old Sylvie’s mom takes a job as a Louisiana state park campground supervisor, moving Sylvie and her pesky sister into a stinky RV. Ticked off and lonely, Sylvie wants to be back home with her own bed, her own stuff, and her dad.
One day Sylvie and her sister follow a fox into the woods, where they meet Lowell, a local kid whose dad is a park ranger. Lowell insists he can help Sylvie and her sister find the fox he scared off, but he loses the trail and leads them into an alternate world—Wiledyn. Frustrated with herself for following an annoying boy she hardly knows, Sylvie smashes a strategically-placed old, blue bottle against a tree, freeing hundreds of ravens . . . and their queen.
Raven Queen Keres—furious after spending the last seventeen years imprisoned, which gave her plenty of time to plot her revenge—seals all the exits from Wiledyn, confining her enemies while also trapping Sylvie, her sister, and Lowell in the crossfire of a power battle. Now Sylvie must protect her sister as they hunt down the Raven Queen, force her to unseal the exits, and—if Sylvie has anything to say about it—make her pay for the destruction she’s caused. With the help of a talking fox, a pair of cheery goblins, and a childlike druid, Sylvie and her companions struggle to return to the one place Sylvie wanted more than anything to escape: her home.
First 250 words:
Sylvie patted more dirt, wet her fingers in the plastic bowl, and sculpted the muddy mound in front of her. She looked back and forth between her mud creation and the folding, laminated field guide.
Not quite.
She squished and smoothed, then reexamined. Just over two inches. Tapered ends. She’d even added a few wild blackberry seeds.
Ha, nailed it! Best fox scat replica yet.
After snapping a close-up with her iPod, Sylvie stepped back for a group shot. Louisiana black bear, nutria, eastern cottontail, Virginia opossum, white-tailed deer, Northern raccoon, and now red fox. This had to make her some sort of campground expert on the subject.
She packed the replicas in their plastic shoe box, except the fox one. It had to bake in the sun a few hours before she could move it. Her dad would want to see her collection, but it wasn’t like he was going to drive four hours for it. Your father’s very busy, Sylvie. She’d been considering some sort of museum set-up and charging admission. She was sure a few weekenders would swing by, if only to check out the weird girl and her sun-baked mud poop museum. She didn’t care. Not if she could get a dollar out of each of them.
A flash of red near the trees caught her eye, but when she turned . . . nothing. No movement, no fox, nothing. Wishful thinking, she figured.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Girl Destroys World
Title: MAGICK 7.0
Word count: 85,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
There are two kinds of quests: the good kind and the bad kind. The good kind leads to pots of gold and unicorns and everlasting fame. The bad kind gets you and everyone you love killed. Horribly and painfully. Possibly by zombie sharks.
Fourteen-year-old Anne is leaving the orphanage she calls home to embark on a quest—and it isn’t the good kind. That’s what happens when you accidentally fulfill a prophecy. She could opt out, but then as per Paragraph 5 Subparagraph 3 of the Official Questing Regulations she’d be exiled forever and all of her friends would be tossed into a dungeon. But hey, at least she has options.
The goal?
Slay a silver dragon that doesn’t exist (that’s bad).
In just three days (that’s worse).
With only the help of a wizard with a platypus for an arm, a disgraced academic with no practical experience, a fused-together dwarf and elf, and a sassy holographic sparrow (that downright sucks).
Oh yeah, and to top it all off, what Anne doesn’t know—what no one knows, in fact—is that finishing this quest doesn’t actually save the world. It destroys it (so, you know, not exactly environmentally-friendly).
If she uncovers the truth before it’s too late, she’ll be a HeroTM.
If she doesn’t, everyone dies (that also sucks).
First 250 words:
At Saint Lupin’s Institute for Perpetually Wicked and Hideously Unattractive Children they didn’t play favorites. Each orphan was treated with the same amount of disdain and neglect. They were provided with one threadbare tunic, one pair of ill-fitting shoes, and one dusty and moth-eaten overcoat. They were given a daily ration of gruel, and they were bathed exactly once per month, just before going on duty in the coal mine. This, incidentally, was consistent with the advice given in the popular self-help guide, How to Raise Orphans and Make Money.
There were three ways to leave Saint Lupin’s. The first was to get adopted. Perhaps by a nice family who would whisk you away to your long dreamed-of castle on a hill—one surrounded by forests and glens, filled with interesting and friendly people, rich with history and bright with promise and hope. The board of governors was extremely pleased with its track record in this regard as it had managed to prevent all adoptions since the Institute’s foundation.
The second way was to reach the age of fourteen and be unceremoniously kicked out on your bottom.
The third way was to embark upon a quest. Although quests were heavily regulated (so they could then be heavily taxed), there were no restrictions regarding age or background and thus anyone could apply. The secret to a successful application was first to fulfill a prophecy (also heavily taxed). At Saint Lupin’s, both of these topics, that is, quests and prophecies, were considered particularly taboo subjects of inquiry.
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