QK Round 2: Remember Me versus Maidens, Monks, & Murder
Entry Nickname: Remember MeTitle: THE GOSSAMER VEILWord Count: 75,000Genre: Adult/Historical Fiction
Query:
Fifteen-year-old Katya watched her family starve to death one by one. She buried her dreams of a happy ending along with the bullet-riddled body of the love of her life. Her survival during Stalin’s assault on Ukraine is a testament to her strength, but it came at an unforgivable price. Now, in the twilight of her life, the secrets she has kept buried for decades have come back to haunt her.
Summer Porter just wanted to stop the nightmares, and nearly died doing so when she accidentally overdosed in high school. Doctors labeled her schizophrenic, but the dreams she’s endured her whole life are something far different. While away at college, she discovers that painting the horrifying images in her mind prevents the dreams. A normal life seems almost possible, till she moves back home. There, the night terrors return and the lure of a quick pill fix threatens everything she has worked so hard for.
Desperate for a change, Summer jumps at the chance to move in with her ailing great-grandmother Katya. Their renewed relationship compels the old woman to do something she swore she’d never do: rip open the scars of her youth and tell her life story. Hearing this confession awakens an inexplicable connection between the two women. This bond may be Summer’s only opportunity to understand and end her nightmares for good and Katya’s last chance at the forgiveness she has spent a lifetime yearning for.
First 250 Words:
When the first shot rang out, the basket my mother had packed slipped from my fingers. Bread spilled to the ground, forgotten, as I raced towards my aunt’s house. Alina yelled for me to stop, but her voice barely whispered in my ear. All I could hear was my cousin Sasha screaming.
My sister caught up and tackled me to the ground. We landed in a snowdrift next to my aunt and uncle’s barn, hidden from view. I had almost made it to the yard. Her speed saved my life that day, but I was too foolish to thank her for it then.
“Katya!” Alina hissed into my ear. Our limbs tangled and our heavy cloaks twisted around us, but it didn’t stop me from trying to wrestle away from her. My arm throbbed where her hand dug into it. “Stop! You can’t let them see us!”
“I don’t care!” I wrenched my left leg from under her and rolled onto my stomach. Snow made its way into my boots and under my thick skirts. The icy crystals numbing my leg scarcely registered. Desperation pushed me forward. “We have to help them!”
I yanked off my cumbersome cloak and left it so I could crawl away from her. Sasha’s screams had stopped, but I was close enough now to hear her quiet whimpering and my uncle’s pleading voice.
“Please!” Alina begged from behind me. “You know it’s too late for them!”
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Maidens, Monks, & Murder
Title: A Serpent in the Garden
Word Count: 60,000
Genre: YA Historical Mystery
QUERY
Amid the grit and splendor of twelfth century Germany, an impetuous teenage noblewoman investigates a brutal murder.
When a young woman is killed near the abbey of St. Nicholas, fifteen-year-old Eva von Hirschburg is moved by similarities between the victim and her own dead mother. She vows to find the culprit and convinces peace-loving Brother Clement to help, but the two clash when Eva accuses a man Clement wants to protect.
As she hunts for evidence, Eva is courted by the charismatic Lord Friderich. Eva is enticed by Friderich’s wit and vitality, but fears he is only looking for an indiscretion. Worse, Friderich distrusts Clement and wants Eva to relinquish her obsession with the murdered woman.
Is Friderich trying to protect Eva, or is he trying to protect the murderer? Eva cannot capture the killer alone, but trusting the wrong person could cost Eva her heart and her life.
FIRST 250
No one prayed for my mother's soul. No one spoke of her. My uncle Baldric forbade it. But I refused to forget her. She died fifteen years ago when I was only a babe, but every morning, before the rest of the castle woke, I went to the chapel to plead for her deliverance.
Darkness filled the room, intensifying the smell of incense and the aching in my legs as I knelt on the stone floor. I recited the De Profundis, the Miserere, and the Requiem Aeternam, prayers suitable for someone suffering in Purgatory. I considered praying that my uncle Arnulf might finally drink himself to death, but I decided against it. I stood and walked out to the chapel garden.
On my right loomed the bergfried, a defensive tower and, in troubled times, a holding place for prisoners. On my left, the crenellated battlements of the south wall snapped at the sapphire sky. I shuddered, feeling like a mouse trapped in the jaws of a lion. Most ladies would count themselves lucky to have a guardian as wise and temperate as Baron Baldric, but I despised being kept out of duty rather than love. And most ladies do not have to contend with an uncle as reckless and cruel as his brother, Baron Arnulf.
I walked toward the archway that led to the main courtyard. A voice cried out. “Judge thou, O Lord, them that wrong me. Overthrow them that fight against me. Take hold of arms and shield, and rise up to help me.”
Query:
Fifteen-year-old Katya watched her family starve to death one by one. She buried her dreams of a happy ending along with the bullet-riddled body of the love of her life. Her survival during Stalin’s assault on Ukraine is a testament to her strength, but it came at an unforgivable price. Now, in the twilight of her life, the secrets she has kept buried for decades have come back to haunt her.
Summer Porter just wanted to stop the nightmares, and nearly died doing so when she accidentally overdosed in high school. Doctors labeled her schizophrenic, but the dreams she’s endured her whole life are something far different. While away at college, she discovers that painting the horrifying images in her mind prevents the dreams. A normal life seems almost possible, till she moves back home. There, the night terrors return and the lure of a quick pill fix threatens everything she has worked so hard for.
Desperate for a change, Summer jumps at the chance to move in with her ailing great-grandmother Katya. Their renewed relationship compels the old woman to do something she swore she’d never do: rip open the scars of her youth and tell her life story. Hearing this confession awakens an inexplicable connection between the two women. This bond may be Summer’s only opportunity to understand and end her nightmares for good and Katya’s last chance at the forgiveness she has spent a lifetime yearning for.
First 250 Words:
When the first shot rang out, the basket my mother had packed slipped from my fingers. Bread spilled to the ground, forgotten, as I raced towards my aunt’s house. Alina yelled for me to stop, but her voice barely whispered in my ear. All I could hear was my cousin Sasha screaming.
My sister caught up and tackled me to the ground. We landed in a snowdrift next to my aunt and uncle’s barn, hidden from view. I had almost made it to the yard. Her speed saved my life that day, but I was too foolish to thank her for it then.
“Katya!” Alina hissed into my ear. Our limbs tangled and our heavy cloaks twisted around us, but it didn’t stop me from trying to wrestle away from her. My arm throbbed where her hand dug into it. “Stop! You can’t let them see us!”
“I don’t care!” I wrenched my left leg from under her and rolled onto my stomach. Snow made its way into my boots and under my thick skirts. The icy crystals numbing my leg scarcely registered. Desperation pushed me forward. “We have to help them!”
I yanked off my cumbersome cloak and left it so I could crawl away from her. Sasha’s screams had stopped, but I was close enough now to hear her quiet whimpering and my uncle’s pleading voice.
“Please!” Alina begged from behind me. “You know it’s too late for them!”
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Maidens, Monks, & Murder
Title: A Serpent in the Garden
Word Count: 60,000
Genre: YA Historical Mystery
QUERY
Amid the grit and splendor of twelfth century Germany, an impetuous teenage noblewoman investigates a brutal murder.
When a young woman is killed near the abbey of St. Nicholas, fifteen-year-old Eva von Hirschburg is moved by similarities between the victim and her own dead mother. She vows to find the culprit and convinces peace-loving Brother Clement to help, but the two clash when Eva accuses a man Clement wants to protect.
As she hunts for evidence, Eva is courted by the charismatic Lord Friderich. Eva is enticed by Friderich’s wit and vitality, but fears he is only looking for an indiscretion. Worse, Friderich distrusts Clement and wants Eva to relinquish her obsession with the murdered woman.
Is Friderich trying to protect Eva, or is he trying to protect the murderer? Eva cannot capture the killer alone, but trusting the wrong person could cost Eva her heart and her life.
FIRST 250
No one prayed for my mother's soul. No one spoke of her. My uncle Baldric forbade it. But I refused to forget her. She died fifteen years ago when I was only a babe, but every morning, before the rest of the castle woke, I went to the chapel to plead for her deliverance.
Darkness filled the room, intensifying the smell of incense and the aching in my legs as I knelt on the stone floor. I recited the De Profundis, the Miserere, and the Requiem Aeternam, prayers suitable for someone suffering in Purgatory. I considered praying that my uncle Arnulf might finally drink himself to death, but I decided against it. I stood and walked out to the chapel garden.
On my right loomed the bergfried, a defensive tower and, in troubled times, a holding place for prisoners. On my left, the crenellated battlements of the south wall snapped at the sapphire sky. I shuddered, feeling like a mouse trapped in the jaws of a lion. Most ladies would count themselves lucky to have a guardian as wise and temperate as Baron Baldric, but I despised being kept out of duty rather than love. And most ladies do not have to contend with an uncle as reckless and cruel as his brother, Baron Arnulf.
I walked toward the archway that led to the main courtyard. A voice cried out. “Judge thou, O Lord, them that wrong me. Overthrow them that fight against me. Take hold of arms and shield, and rise up to help me.”
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