Performance Anxiety

In a past life, I spent eight years working in radio. I spent countless hours on air, conducted several live interviews, and even introduced some major acts on stage. But tomorrow night, for the first time ever, I’m reading my own work in front of a live audience at the Peninsula Fine Arts Center in Newport News, Virginia.

And I am scared doodoo-less.

I have never shied away from public speaking. Throughout my childhood, I took part in Christmas shows (often being a narrator for the whole show), competed in pageants (I was cute once – sigh), and participated in the school play.

So why does this new challenge have me on edge?

No really. I’m asking. WHY??

Okay, I know why. Because it’s my writing. And this isn’t an event at RT or something. This is not an audience of romance lovers. I take pride in what I write, and I know I’m a real writer no matter what the literary elite like to say. But still…

What if they don’t laugh in the right places? What if they all fall asleep? What if someone gets up and leaves in the middle of my reading?? See, this is why I loved radio. If someone changed the channel, I had no idea. I was buffered from rejection.

Tomorrow night, I am bufferless.

I’m half tempted to read from someone else’s book. I mean, the announcement only says we’re reading from our favorite beach reads. This would remove some of the pressure and maybe help win fans for another author. A win-win.

But that would also be the coward’s way out, I suppose. So I’ll stick with the plan to read the first chapter of MEANT TO BE. Yes, the whole chapter. Meaning I have a lot of time in which to crash and burn.

Other than picturing the audience in their underwear, which I have never wanted nor been able to do, what do you suggest? Where are my introverts who have developed tricks and tips to get through this sort of thing? A shot beforehand? A shot in the hand? I’ll take anything.

Terri Osburn is the best selling author of the Anchor Island Series. Her latest release is HOME TO STAY, the third installment in the series. Learn more about Terri and her work at her website.