Momma said there’d be days like this

Momma said there’d be days like this

Last Friday, I knew it was going to be a shitty day. It was cloudy, I was exhausted from working long hours all week, and my allergies were kicking my ass. Despite those things, I was in a good mood. My latest novel “Wounded” was #4 on the best sellers list, and positive reviews were starting to roll in. One of my co-workers at the gym (my second job) asked if she could buy my book. I was happy. I never in a million years believed she would support it, but that happiness was cut short instantly when another co-worker said out loud “Ugh, I couldn’t even finish it. It had rape and shit with kids and I just couldn’t stomach it.” I was embarrassed, and a little angry by the comment. Apparently she didn’t get past the third page. While it was true, my story does have dark parts in it. “Wounded” is about overcoming your past and not letting it ruin and control your life. Luckily for me, the co-worker who was interested purchased the book, but I feared her mind was already tainted by the comment.

I took a deep breath, calmed myself down, and went to breakfast. I tried to push the negativity of that comment out of my mind until I received a text message from a friend from my old office (my main job). The message explained that someone that I respected and thought was a friend, went on a rant when a group of women were speaking highly of my latest book. She said that while I had won some awards for my writing, they were minor awards and true literature companies do not give awards for porn. I was hurt. I thought highly of this woman, and it turned out she didn’t like me or my writing.

Already in a bad mood, I stopped by my current office to work on a project and clear my mind. My Co-worker waved at me while on the phone and told the person he was talking to that I was an author. “From the exert I read, the novel is “pure sex” but women seemed to like it.” He said. Was that how people perceived my books? Did they see it as smut or did they see the true purpose and messages that I tried to relay with my writing? He then asked me if he was right about his description of my book. I was already upset beyond belief. I told him that he needed to read the book in its entirety before thinking it was just about sex.

I was discouraged and apathetic the rest of the weekend. The reason I became an author was to make books that would move people the way I felt Richard Wright’s “Native Son” had done for me. I had a lot of soul searching to do. Is my writing style too dark? Do people view my book as smut?

Later on that day I went out to lunch with my cousin Nicole and to put it lightly, she told me to grow a pair and to have thicker skin. I needed her humorous but blunt talking to. Every day will not be a good day as a writer. There are times when the slightest comment or critique can bring us down, but it’s all part of overcoming adversity. There will always be those who are not fans of our work or will not see the message we’re trying to relay, but you can’t dwell on things you have no control over. A line I wrote in one of my book that I need to follow myself is “Every day isn’t rainbows and smiles” Sometimes as authors we need days like this to keep us humble, and to motivate us to continue evolving with our craft. There is a higher level that I want to reach, and instead of using these negative experiences as setbacks, I have to use it as motivation to push myself.

What is the purpose of this blog? To show writers and aspiring writers that we all have bad days. We all suffer through criticism (believe me I get just as much hate mail as I do fan mail) but we can’t lose focus of why we became authors in the first place. I learned an important lesson being in law enforcement. When I became a cop, I thought I was going to change the world for the better and truly make a difference. As time passed and I matured as a man and a cop, I realized that I can’t change the world entirely, but I can help change the world or at least modify the perspective of those I meet. The same rules apply to my literary career. People see things differently. While there will be those who don’t see the reasoning of my books, there will be those who understand and love them. Those that love them are the ones I write for and appreciate and they will get me through the tough days.