Stupid Things I Really Did and Wish I Hadn't (as an author)

1. Sent in a partial for an unfinished manuscript to a contest. I got exactly what I deserved, which was a request for the full, which I hurried to complete—and which, of course, did not win.

2. Wrote a 3-page query letter to a publisher, explaining in a long-winded academic way, how my book was superior to all the others in the field. My sister, who was actually serious about publication, laughed for days when she read it.

3. Sent a manuscript in to a publisher that was a “joint venture,” meaning they asked for the author to help pay for publication. In this case, I got a very nice letter from an editor who told me my book was too good for this kind of a place and I should send it on to real publishers. It was really better luck than I deserved.

4. Sent my manuscript to “Dear Acquisitions Editor” because Writer’s Market suggested it. I could have called and found a name, but I didn’t bother. I don’t know how I ended up getting a book published this way, but I did.

5. Sent in several horrible inept picture book manuscripts to editors, including one about a girl who punched a bully in the face and was never bothered again.

6. After I got an agent, sent a book to an editor without telling my agent she even had it. A month later, my agent went to lunch with said editor, who talked about my manuscript, which he hadn’t sent or even known about. He was (rightly) furious.

7. Sent a letter to a well-known author, begging her for help with my poor manuscript, which I had written in part as an homage to her book. Kind author actually looked at three chapters and gently encouraged me to write a new novel that was entirely mine.

8. Went to a writing workshop after I had gotten my first manuscript accepted for publication. I was supposed to be an “assistant” to the well-known author who was teaching, but I kept interrupting and correcting him in my enthusiasm and confidence. After that, I stopped going to writing workshops until I was asked to teach them.

9. Sending out blurb requests to authors I knew and didn’t know, begging them to help a fellow author out. Then not following their instructions when they asked me to send manuscript to agent.

10. Rewriting a fantasy novel so that it was “more like Twilight.”