Job perception: title vs. what you actually do

dayjob

Cruise ship activities director.


Nightclub owner

Front for drug money laundering operation.


Corporate CEO

Taker of long lunches and caller of meetings to remind people you’re the boss.


Cabinet Minister

The person immediately to the Prime Minister’s right when major announcements are made. Responsible for nodding head in background of TV coverage of the PM making the announcement and the person responsible for any fuck-ups (unless they can be blamed on someone in a government department).


Director of Government Department

In charge of minister publicity stunts and press releases.


Plumber

Semi-professional fisherman with a once or twice a week day job assigning an apprentice to do some plumbing.


Electrician

Similar to plumber except with less water and shorter working hours.


Apprentice

The doer of all shit jobs ever imagined and some that were too gruesome to imagine.


Commercial Pilot

Bus driver with lower risk of crashing, better perks, longer hours, and shorter life expectancy due to radiation at altitude.


Journalist

Press release copy and paste expert.


Columnist

Writer of articles on topics that they probably haven’t bothered to research, or researched by reading what other columnists and journalists have written.


Police Officer

In charge of making sure others don’t do stupid and annoying shit that will hurt everyone around them. Not to be mistaken for parking meter attendants, nor strippers.


Strippers

Not to be mistaken for police officers, firefighters, school girls, secretaries, nurses or prostitutes.


Advertising Executive

Professional liar and manipulator for hire to inanimate objects and services.


Scientist

The survivors of explosions and experiments that engulfed their high schools in flames, now tasked with finding even more cool ways to blow shit up.


Tagged: Advertising executive, Apprentice, Cabinet minister, CEO, Columnist, Commercial pilot, Director of government department, Fun, Funny, Humor, Humour, Jokes, Journalist, Night club owner, Original content, Plumber, Police officers, Prime Minister, Right What You No, Scientist, Strippers, Tyson Adams, Work
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Published on June 08, 2014 16:24
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