The C Word

It’s confidence, you perverts. And it’s good to have mine back.

If you ask 10 people what they consider an attractive personality trait in others, eight of them will say confidence. ( One will say sense of humor and the other will abstain because they are looking to settle down with a doormat.)

It’s possible I was born with a genetic predisposition towards self confidence. It also could have been my mom’s doing, she tended to over enthuse about her children’s “gifts”. I don’t think it was Mom, most people’s moms are like that, if you’re lucky.

Is self confidence primarily learned or just something we’re born with? A quick Twitter poll showed that many people think it’s nurture over nature.

@CairnRodrigues Nurture. I have read studies that show you can build confidence in people through support and encouragement.

— Jason Cantrell (@CantrellJason) June 8, 2014

@CairnRodrigues Learned. And honestly, it’s probably no so much Self Confidence as it is just not giving a shit what other people think. — Robb Allen (@ItsRobbAllen) June 8, 2014

I don’t agree. Native self confidence isn’t something you can learn, some of us are born that way. But I am by no means dismissing learned self confidence. That’s a tough thing to teach yourself and my hat is off to all who’ve managed it.

Self confidence is an attractive trait, but by no means an express ticket to success. Virginia Woolf managed without much.

The key is one’s definition of success, I suppose. If your goal is to be more confident, then oodles of it should be enough to sustain you through any kind of life. Perhaps the difference between learned and natural self confidence is that some learn it to go places in life while others use it to make the most of where they are in life.

It’s just a theory, so sound off if you have an opinion.

For me, confidence isn’t a component of my personality. It’s a natural part of me, like a thumb. When it’s missing, I feel incomplete and somewhat invisible.

Mine is back now. I feel whole and healthy again. Yesterday, some kid passing me on a bike felt obliged to yell out to all that I’m fat. It didn’t abash, shame or really affect me. It did piss me off briefly, so I yelled back, “WELL DUH!”

I am fat, I must be if I wrote a blog about it