The Ghost of Dumb Sunny Jokes

Q: Why does Sunny have TGIF written on her shoes?

A: It means Toes Go In First.

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Q: Why does Sunny always smile during lightning storms?

A: She thinks her picture is being taken.

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The other day, Sunny was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to her and says "Excuse me, Miss, could I please see your driving license and registration."

She looks at the policeman and angrily says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

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"Hey, Eile!"

Eile comes into the room and finds Sunny on a ladder, just under the overhead light.

"Yeah? What's up, besides you?"

"I'm changing a light bulb and I need some help."

"Okay, what?"

Sunny holds the new bulb in the socket. "Now, spin the ladder!"

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Marseilles Sheraton once challenged Sunny to a game of intelligence. To sweeten the deal, Sunny would pay her $5 for every question she couldn't answer, but she'd pay her $50 for any question Sunny asked that she couldn't answer. She figured there was no way she could lose.

Sunny reluctantly agreed.

Sheraton started first: "What's the distance to the nearest star?"

Without saying a word, Sunny gave her $5.

Then it was Sunny's turn: "What goes up a hill on three legs, but comes down on four?"

Stumped, Sheraton ponders and thinks and schemes, but she can't come up with an answer, so she angrily gives Sunny $50.

Sunny takes it and says, "Your turn."

"Now just a minute! What's the answer?"

Without saying a word, Sunny hands her $5.

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One day Sunny went to check on the mail five times, but always came back empty-handed, and each time she just got more and more upset.

"Is something wrong?" Eile finally asked.

"I'll say! The dumb computer keeps telling me I got mail!"

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Sunny had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch. She called Eile and was applying fresh lipstick when she arrived.

"Jesus Christ!" she gasped. "It looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm just fine," she chirped.

"Well, how the freakin' hell did this happen?"

"It was the strangest thing! I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ---"

"There ain't no trees on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth, ya bimbo!"

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Sunny had just gotten a new sports car. She cut in front of a semi, and almost caused it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motioned for her to pull over, and she does. The driver got out, drew a circle, and told her to stand in it. Then he got out his knife and cut up her leather seats. He turned around and saw she was smiling. So he went to his truck, took out a baseball bat, and started busting her windows and beating her car. He looked back and saw that she was laughing. He got really mad, so he took his knife and sliced her tires. He turned around and she was laughing so hard, she just about to fell down. He demanded, "What's so funny?" She said, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

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Sunny was on a plane in economy class going to Detroit when she got up and moved into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watched her do this, and politely informed her that she must sit in economy class because that was the type of ticket she paid for.

Sunny replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing her to move, the flight attendant went into the cockpit and informed the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refused to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot went back to Sunny and explained why she needed to move, but once again she replied by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and suggested that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot said, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He went back to Sunny and whispered quietly in her ear, and she said, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moved back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot were amazed and asked him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

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Eile and Sunny are visiting a club one night when a ventriloquist gets on stage. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when Sunny stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, so Sunny yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little dummy on your knee."

Eile just palms her face.

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Sunny was once stranded on a desert island. She looked over the water to the mainland and thought, "That can't be more than 20 miles. I'm gonna swim to shore." So she starts swimming. She covers five miles, then ten, then fifteen, then 19. The shore is just in sight, but she thinks to herself, "I'm too tired to go on!"

So she turns around and swims back.

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Q: How do you know Sunny's been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.