You Don’t Have to Love Me

Churchianity Gays, Christians and Change Management

You Don’t Have to Love Me

I, like many Christians, grew up with the phrase, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” It’s a statement, when used in the Church, that infers Christians can show compassion and love for others, while not condoning their activities, or “lifestyles.”

There are a number of problems with the statement. For starters, it’s arrogant and judgmental. It assumes the “love-er” has the right to judge the “love-ee.” By it’s mere suggestion, it divides people into a hierarchy: the righteous and the sinner. It lacks empathy, compassion, and human dignity. It was never used in the Bible. In fact, Jesus was considered a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19).

I always suggest that people who like to use these pithy statements first try them out on their significant others and see how well they go over: “I love you, but not your sin.”

Many religious people have separated themselves from anyone who does not share their beliefs. They may associate with people outside of church, but rarely do they build meaningful relationships. “Those people” too often embody the sin the religious hate. To avoid the sin, they avoid the sinner.

American Evangelical Christianity has become consumed with the concept of sin. Sermons more often contain what not to do and who shouldn’t be doing it, than empowering people to “love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). Rules and regulations, laws and lawgivers, have hi-jacked the simple, yet powerful, message of grace.

Christianity, unlike any other religion, is all about grace. To receive it, there is nothing that needs to be done, said, or believed. It can’t be nullified or taken away. It can’t be trampled on, or devalued. It is the greatest gift to mankind, and it is unimaginable and incomprehensible.

The beauty of this kind of grace is that it releases the receiver from any expectation. So you can hate my sin, but you can even go a step further: You don’t even have to love me. Grace has that covered for both of us.

Tim

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