This is a Good Day

On rainy days like today, when everything is tinted grey and the streets are wet and quiet, I like to remain as still as I can manage. A full week of physical labor leaves me feeling not only satisfied, but grateful. I'm myself again. I have energy and endurance and I'm not laid low with crushing fatigue, depression, and massive pain as I have been for the past seven years. Seven. Years.

In the past week I've tended established flower beds, planted new ones, taken care of some much needed fix-its around the house, and I've even painted the front porch floor. Normally, these things would have taken me months. For the past year nothing has been done at all; last summer was spent virtually bedridden. I cannot begin to describe how I'm feeling mentally and emotionally...
Part of me thinks this is only temporary, that the misery will return any morning now and I'll waken to a day like literally thousands of others. It can't possibly last. Can it? "Don't trust this," a little voice says. "You're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment." Such is the nature of any disease that goes into remission, I believe. We grow so accustomed to the abuse that it becomes part of who we are. It'll take time for me to trust my body again; it has a lot of kissing up to do.

The week's exertions have left me a little tired and a little sore, but no more than any woman my age should expect and, where fatigue is concerned, well, there just isn't any. I go to bed feeling that satisfying tiredness of jobs well done and goals accomplished.

Today is a good day to dedicate to music and to do some web design work. I hope your weekend is wonderful!