This will probably be the most important thing you read all day. Probably.

Okay, so I know I owe you guys, like, five Candida Diaries posts and three Bachelorette Recaps, but I have something that I want to talk about right now that's a little more important.

My boobs have fallen in love with a sports bra, and it's become a revelation.

Being a rather busty gal, I've spent most of my adult life strapping those babies into thick, structured, tight, and molded bras. Because you gotta - having those big balloons bouncing around with every step is not only slightly obscene - think of the children, you guys - but it's also kind of painful. In the past few years, I've also taken to sleeping with some kind of support - super soft cami's with the built-in shelf bras are choice - because there are few things more uncomfortable than having those things flopping all around when you're trying to drift into dreamland.

Basically, when other girls talk about the joy of taking their bra off at the end of the day, I have no idea what they mean. My girls basically live their life in a perma-bra existence.

But this past winter, I started wearing yoga clothes more often so I could drop onto the mat in the middle of the day or slid into my meditation chair whenever I needed to refocus (it became a whole, awesome thing, and it was largely responsible for helping me to quit smoking back in November). But I resisted the thought of wearing a sports bra because my entire life's experience has taught me that sports bras are ultra uncomfortable - if you've got a healthy rack, you're usually stuck with ones with thick straps and tight material, which cut into your shoulders and make your neck ache after a hour or two of wearing them. But wearing a normal bra while doing downward dog...it doesn't really work (or it does, but only if someone of the male gender is around to appreciate it).

So I decided to give two super soft, stretchy sports bras a try. One was neon orange with the usually wide straps, and the other one was a soft black one with thin straps. I was a little worried about the black one, thinking that thinner straps would only cut into my shoulders more and would be less supportive.

But oh holy wow, you guys. The orange one is actually pretty great, but the black one...it feels like my boobs are being gently held up by a SOFT YET TOTALLY SUPPORTIVE CLOUD.

This is what all you other girls are talking about, when you talk about the beauty of not wearing a bra, isn't it?!? Like...freedom. I don't have anything cutting into my sides, I'm not bouncing around all the time, my chest feels like it's being given a friendly-but-things-could-also-get-romantic-if-we're-both-feeling-that-we-might-want-to-go-there hug all day, and I can actually wear the thing in public without feeling like I'm tuning into Tokyo*.

Also, it makes my boobs look great. I can show cleav' in public without feeling obscene, because I'm all like, "You can tell from the sporting of this sports bra that I obviously work out and do yoga, so this is functional cleavage."


Me, rocking the sports bra in public. (Photo courtesy of my pal Erik, who thought he was just taking a photo of me being, "hey, me!" and not "hey, boobs!") I'm probably never taking this thing off. I mean, I will, when I have to shower and stuff, but I'm ordering one in every color to coordinate with every outfit. It's like...I never knew it could feel this good. I never knew a bra could feel this way, and so now I never want to lose this feeling.

Also, I'm probably not going to be making out with anyone for another 12 months, so I guess these babies gotta get their kicks in somehow, right?

When makeout land is in the middle of a drought, just get yourself a sweet and fancy sports bra, ladies!**


*Please refer to one of the greatest movies of all time, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, starring a young Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt, for the meaning of this phrase.

** For more great life advice, please stay tuned for my upcoming book entitled, "He Doesn't Like You That Way: The Amber L. Carter Story"