I Wake at Five

I wake at five

Even though

I don’t really have to be up

Until six

No alarm

Just the way

My body likes

To start the day

I wake slowly

Gradually

Stretching into consciousness

So it always takes

A few blissfully moments

Before reality returns

And I roll over

Realizing

Your side of the bed

Is so cold

A few minutes

Before the memories

Of our last morning together

Come flooding back

And I am torn

Between the joy

Of those memories

And the pain

Of reality

Those memories of

How I nuzzled

Into your neck

Your sweet sleepy scent

Like honeysuckle

On a summer breeze

Memories of how you

Pulled me into you

Warm and safe

Arms so strong wrapping around

Yet holding so gently

The memory of which

Is the only definition

Of the word home

That I will ever know

That hour of bliss

Slowly rocking together

To start each day

In rapturous joy

An hour that was

The briefest moment

Of time standing still

Facing down eternity

Together

Knowing we will never

Be apart

Now I wake alone

Wishing those memories

Could warm my skin

Yet comforted by the way

They warm my heart

And after a full nights sleep

I am suddenly so tired

Grief has a way

Of perpetually exhausting

Of weighing down

The soul

Until even happy memories

Are insufficient

So even as I

Become fully awake

The cold sheets

And the empty space

Next to me

Are bittersweet reminders

And why I wish for

Just one more hour

Of blissful sleep