Reasons Why I’ve Given Up on Dating

I tried internet dating

Once

Or twice

And I finally gave up

I know the profile thingies

Are like a resume of sorts

And you want to put

Your best foot forward

But they really should be

About some sort of honesty too

Reading through them

Was like reading the slush pile

From hell

With no way to get a logarithm

For basic grammar

Or sentence structure

Even if they passed the test

Of describing themselves coherently

That only meant they were clear

To round two…

Meeting face to face

Inevitable they dropped their jaws

And looked at me with some mixture

Of amazement

Or puzzlement

Or just plain disbelief

When I said I’m a writer

And an editor

I didn’t usually even bring up

Indie yarn dyer

I can only imagine

That would cause a similar reaction

As my growing a second head would

I don’t have time for this dance

Nor do I want to rehash

My 48 year history

When I have plenty of friends

Who already know me

And love me

Despite knowing what they know

I’m half panicked most days

Thinking I won’t have enough time

To write everything

Do everything

Be everything

That I need to be me

Why waste a minute more?

Do I miss intimacy?

Hell yes!

But not enough

To put myself through that nonsense

Do I wish I had someone

To bounce ideas off of

While snuggling on the couch?

Or read each other’s words

While staying in bed late

On a lazy Sunday morning

After making love

For the umpteenth time?

Do I want to be part

Of a partnership

That’s bigger than either of us

Could ever be on our own?

Or have someone in my life

Whose strengths and weaknesses

Dovetailed to mine

So that together

We are unstoppable?

Nah, what gave you that idea?