Daddy Doms Explained – The Softer Side of BDSM
This week is Who’s Your Daddy Week where myself and three other authors of “Daddy romance” are celebrating Daddies and their little girls. We’re giving away Daddy books and a $20 Amazon gift card so please check it out and tell your friends.
What do you get when you have a male Dom who’s not a sadist and a submissive who’s not into pain? Often the result is a Daddy Dom and a little girl submissive in a relationship that focuses not only on domination and punishment, but also on nurturing and adoration for one another.
There are few aspects of kink that are as misunderstood as Daddy Doms and their little girl submissives. People often think having a Daddy means you missed out on something as a child, or that you want to dress up in a tutu and fingerpaint. Not necessarily. Other people mistakenly believe that it means you want to have sex with your father. But in the context of a BDSM relationship, having a Daddy Dom has nothing to do with any of those things.
Some little girls with Daddy Doms engage in ageplay and others don’t. Some of the other authors this week will be discussing the ageplay side of Daddy/little girl play, but today I’m talking about the D/s relationship between a Daddy Dom and his little girl.
The Daddy Dom
Some men want to dominate their women. They want to own them and have them do as they are told, particularly in the sex department. But what happens when that man is more of a nurturer than a sadist? He will often fall into the role of “Daddy Dom”. Daddy Doms put their babygirl’s needs at the top of their priority list. A Daddy Dom will do everything he can to help his little girl be the best person she can be. He may spoil her, but he doesn’t let her get away with being a brat. Sometimes this means he will punish her, not for the enjoyment of the punishment, but because it is for her own good. A Daddy’s little girl is his pride and joy and he does what he can to make her feel special and cherished.
The Little Girl Submissive
The little girl submissive worships her Daddy Dom. She will do anything to please him because she knows that he makes it his mission to care for her and to protect her. Since she is secure in his feelings for her she trusts her Daddy and submits to him completely. The little girl puts her Daddy’s needs first and pleasing him is of the utmost importance to her . In return he fulfills her needs and disciplines her when she needs it.
The Relationship
In my books about Daddy Doms both the Dom and the sub put their partner’s needs above their own. They are open and honest about their sexual needs and kinks. Daddy’s little girl is the center of his world, and he is the center of hers. While they may incorporate elements of ageplay this is not their focus. They may engage in BDSM activities that include pain, but this is usually motivated by a desire to get to subspace, increase endorphins, or a need for punishment rather than a desire for pain for pain’s sake. However, like all relationships – each one as unique as a snowflake and it is difficult to generalize.
The Daddy’s Girl Series centers around a group of girlfriends who like being in Daddy/little girl relationships. Here is a look at the first two books in the series. Look for Book Three this Fall.
Daddy Morebucks
From the moment she laid eyes upon him, Marley knew in her heart that James was not just another client, and the difference wasn’t even the large sum of money he offered in return for a single night of submission. No, what set him apart was the fact that when she called James “daddy”, it was her own heart which beat faster and her own body which ached with need.
After that night, Marley does her best to put all thought of him behind her, using the huge payday he provided to get on her feet again and start over… until James knocks on her door and walks right back into her life. He makes her a simple offer: if she will live with him and submit to him whenever he wishes, he will provide for her every desire.
Even before she accepts his offer, though, Marley knows what she truly wants is not money or clothing or even a fancy new car. What she longs for is a daddy who will give his little girl what she really needs… a daddy who will spank her bare bottom when she is naughty, tie her up and take her any way he pleases, and then cuddle her until she falls asleep in his arms. Can she dare to hope that James will be that daddy?
Read Chapter One FREE or listen to a sample here.
Now an Audiobook as well as ebook and print:
Amazon Amazon UK Barnes & Noble ARe
Daddy’s Game – NEW RELEASE!
Sparks fly when up-and-coming artist Carmen Harris meets football star Natron Dakers at her first gallery opening. As they grow closer he introduces her to his particular brand of kink – he wants to be her Daddy Dom and make her his little girl submissive. She agrees, and they explore their passion through a variety of sexual games.
Dallas Vipers’ wide receiver Natron Dakers is on top of the world. At the top of his profession, he has money, fame, and all the perks that go with it. Finally having found the perfect partner in his curvy little girl Carmen, his life feels complete. Until one day, in a split second, everything comes crashing down and it looks like he will lose it all. Will Natron self-destruct or will he dig deep and fight to win the ultimate game of love?
Pick up your copy of Daddy’s Game today:
Amazon Amazon UK Barnes & Noble ARe Kobo
Check out the other participants in Who’s You Daddy week here and enter to win a $20 Amazon gift card and “Daddy” books!
The post Daddy Doms Explained – The Softer Side of BDSM appeared first on Normandie Alleman. Normandie Alleman - The Racy Raconteur...
newest »
This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Please tell me this isn't real.
Normandie, I finally picked all your DD/lg books up. So this is gonna be outing me somewhat. I finally discovered my little. Oh she's been there all along but I didnt know what was going on. My Daddy happens to also be my sadist as our bdsm relationship is going on a decade strong. I do disagree on the generalization of a non sadist Dom becoming and falling into the role of a Daddy, because they also have a chance to become a gentle dominant. DADDYS are a special breed. They recognize littlea and are drawn to nurture them and accept everything about them, including the need to hide under the desk and color at times lol. They also have to always be there no matter what. Even at 3am when the little needs ice cream or a pillow fort.
Likw I said, we have been in a bfsm relationship for 10 years. He's seen me be destroyed by a rape and has nursed me back from health, mental and physical ..and still is. To the pwrson commenting below, This isnt age play guys, this is an incredibly open and important dynamic for many who need the simplicity of being little. (I'm more a middle but thats for a different time.)
Normandy we know each other on Facebook and I've been away for a few months... this is one reason, the stress of being a publicist finally caused a break. My now Daddy came hime to me in the corner with my stuffy and wondering if i needed to be commited because all o wanted to do was suck my thumb and rock. My therapist is the one, who knew our d/s dynamic already, who handed a website to both of us and we both clicked...but Daddy still also gives my masochist scenes of pain.
I think the important part is a Daddy has to always be on. He cannot take a break. A little never knows when her Lil is gonna come out and need her Daddy (or mommy). But he also is very sexual and naughty. He also now realizes why im so shy at times when others i can be on diaplay suspended in shibari dor rhe whole room.
Anyway, this became longer tham I was meaning it too. Your books are great and I especially like the Little Haven series. It has more explination and info within the prose for exploring littles in the lifestyle. Gods I just rambled... I guess the comment before made me want to shout ..I'm a little and I have a Daddy..its not wrong, it's more than right. I also can hold an in depth conversation on the chivalric nature of to2days pop culture romances and the heavy influence of storiea auch as the green knight with space operas... In other words, this is my kink and it's not age play and I'm not simple minded. It's saved my life in many ways and your books are a fav of many of my fellow littles. Keep writing and thanks from the bottom of my glitter ladden heart.
Thank you so much Kriss for your comment. It sounds like you are doing better and I'm happy to hear from you! I really appreciate that you have enjoyed my books. There is definitely a difference between age play and DD/lg, but I don't know that it's a big deal in RL relationships as long as the couple has figured out what works for them. As an author I try to clarify the difference because I want people to understand what they are going to be reading (and not reading) in my books. Personally, age regression isn't my thing so it's harder to write that. I tried to do more of that in my Little Haven book, because it was about a community of age players, but my next book (September) will go back to my Daddy's Girl series, which is more in my wheelhouse.
I know you have been through a lot, and I'm glad you have a sweet Daddy who has helped you through it! It's a wonderful thing when we realize what we need and the one we love can provide that for us. Hugs to you and your glittery heart!!!
Della wrote: "This is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Please tell me this isn't real."Dear Della...
As a little girl, I wish to tell you, that ,yes, it very much is. But I am sorry you don't understand. My Daddy adores me, and i, him. He would NEVER hurt me, even if I mess up. Instead his punishments areally meant to teach me to be better, not for pain. I take care of his every need, and he, mine.
I'm saddened that you find it offensive, but many do not understand. The level of commitment we have for each other is beyond any marriage...
I have just evolved into being a daddy dom. I knew I was a dom always but I was not into the whole sadistic type of Dom and submissive. Hell even slave and master. I have just met the baby girl of my dreams. She is really awesome. I have told her that this is a new experience for me, but I seem to have fit naturally into the Daddy role. Della yes it is a real thing. No need to be horrified about it. It is what it is. Just because you do not understand the dynamics of these relationships does not give you the right to be condescending to those of us in this lifestyle. That is what it is....a lifestyle. Everyone is consenting adults and there are no laws broken at all.
I recently met a guy who is into this Daddy/little girl kinks. I am new to this, I am a bit scared as he initially wanted a master/slave style. I said to him that no way I can be a slave and said to stop it. He backed off a bit and asked me whether I can play daddy/little girl thing. I said I could as I read online it seems a rewarding and doable lifestyle. However, ever since day one we met, the conversation is always about sex, but nothing else. This does not seem to be what i expected and i also explicitly express my desire of having a proper date and get to know each other rather than just directly sex.
Is daddy like this? Should I nod to his sexual request before he can care for me needs? Is he genuine? I am really not sure what to do as I seem to like him and the 2 sex occasions that we had I seemed naturally fit into the little girl's role well in the bedroom. Is he playing the mind game? or is he just a normal daddy that requesting his little girl to commit first?
Look forward to hearing from you.
Tawna wrote: "Is there a place to go to talk to other littles? I've always known there was something missing in my life. I knew I wanted a daddy but was confused about it all and them my Dom daddy found me! It c..."Fetlife, there are lots of groups for littles.
Apple wrote: "I recently met a guy who is into this Daddy/little girl kinks. I am new to this, I am a bit scared as he initially wanted a master/slave style. I said to him that no way I can be a slave and said t..."He's probably just really excited to have found someone willing to explore and is being a little over eager and forward. If you tell him clearly how you feel and what you need then if he is someone worth exploring with he will respond and adjust his approach in order to respect your comfort level. Communication in any relationship especially one involving BDSM is critical and both parties have a responsibility to express their thoughts and feelings.
I try not to assume the worst about a persons intentions. By that I mean he probably doesn't realize you feel this way. However, always use caution and look out for red flag behavior such as him ignoring your stated limited and pushing you beyond what you've consented to.
Looking for a new Daddy email me at tajuanatyler87@gmail.com
Apple wrote: "I recently met a guy who is into this Daddy/little girl kinks. I am new to this, I am a bit scared as he initially wanted a master/slave style. I said to him that no way I can be a slave and said t..."Yes, I agree, communicate what makes you feel comfortable and voice your needs. His need for sex may be overwhelming especially early on, it’s important to remember, at any stage of the relationship that your needs are just as important. No one can express your needs but you. If they really care about you and want to protect you, they will not make you feel bad about what you want, need or who you are. They will cherish you and try their very best to respect you, that’s exactly what you deserve!
Sex will always be there, daddy’s can wait for it until you feel comfortable to move forward, you are important! Try not to submit all of who you are in the relationship, hold onto your identity. If he reacts badly, becomes aggressive or pushy, when you say “no” he needs to know that’s NOT OK. The relationship should be a mutual give-and-take, a sacred haven of love and understanding, a bond of mutual respect, where you both thrive naturally. Where you both meet one another’s needs, care for one another and put each other above yourselves.
This is what its like with me and my daddy. It’s what I’ve waited a long time for, and I’ve gone through several daddy’s that were not a good fit. I finally stopped trying to “find” one, then naturally, I found someone who was a daddy dom, and didn’t even know it. When I opened up, we both could see it was a natural fit but like your guy he was very sexual in the beginning and I had to create space, communicate, slow things down until he could respect my need to take things slow. People only treat you the way you let them. So listen to your inner voice and remember self-care comes first. I’m so happy I found my daddy and he loves me with all his heart. But I know that would’ve never happened if I didn’t love myself first.
I just met my first Daddy and I am so excited. I thought I knew what dom/sub was, but I had no clue about the lifestyle. I met him online, and he invited me over to his house after a conversation where we got a little into detail, and he expressed his wishes to me that required my presence. So I went. When I arrived, we did get to that, and discussion of what a Daddy Dom D/s lifestyle was all about, how there would be a training period, and after that, if we both wanted to move forward, he would 'collar' me. He put a collar on me that night! So don't get me wrong, but we did not have sex... At first this perturbed me, but I have learned not to have expectations of anyone and also I was having such an amazing time with my new Daddy and all of the information he was providing me that I quickly came around to his line of thinking. He really does know best for me. But I am not going to see him for a few days and this disturbs me greatly. I'm scared he is going to disappear out of my life forever like the rest of these online matches. I am trying to learn all that I can about this life that just a few weeks before I met him I came to realizations about. Then he arrived, and I had such physical reactions to his explanations of the training period, and our short training sessions, as they were, I felt like I was going to die. Now I feel like I am going to die again.
