Gay Pride Month Virtual Roundtable
This week on my blog, we’re trying something a little different. In honor of LGBT Pride month, I am among a great group of panelists who will be hosting a month long discussion about Pride, LGBT Youth, Allies, and more. Our panelists are a diverse group of readers, writers, and supporters of gay fiction, including Larry Benjamin, Rick Bettencourt, Brandilyn Carpenter, Rob Colton, Andrew Q Gordon, Lane Hayes, Debbie McGowan, and Brandon Shire. Each week, two people will answer two questions related LGBT pride, rights, and related topics. We will also be giveaway free copies of eBooks by our participating authors and a Amazon gift card. You can enter by clicking on the RaffleCopter link below. There are special entries for each week of June, so don’t miss out on those.
Please join in the discussion in the comments. You can gain entries into the giveaway, but more importantly, you can be part of a important and fun discussion. Though only 2 panelists will be posting each week, we will all be joining the discussion.
This Week’s Discussion:
What was the first gay pride event you attend? How did going make you feel?
The first pride event I attended was in Philadelphia. I was 24 and dating someone at the time – we hadn’t been dating long. I remember wanting to go because I thought it was good to ‘show up in numbers.’ He was slightly apathetic at first, but he held my hand for most of the day and got into things once we got there.
I remember feeling less vulnerable at the time. Sure it was the same streets, same city I was living in, so I should have felt the same, but among the many thousands attending, it felt like safety in numbers. The other thought was that I wanted it to be like that always. I wanted to be able to hold my boy friend’s hand everywhere, everywhen. In a way it felt like a dream and I didn’t want to wake up. Of course then we went home, left the safety zone and it was life as usual again.
The reason I chose this question was, in many ways, gay pride events feel so different to me now. When Mike and I first started dating 19 years ago, we went to the events. Then life started to get a bit busier, we had a house, projects, work etc. It suddenly became inconvenient and we stopped going.
When ‘lil q was born, we made a decision to go again. Maybe it was that in some ways we were starting over again, this time as parents, but we both agreed it felt right to go and to bring her. We’ve been the last two years, but we’ll miss this one due to a family event in another state.
Do you think gay pride events are still necessary?
I chose this as a follow on to the first question. I struggled to answer this when I saw it, because is some ways it almost feels like they’re not. My answer, however, is a resounding yes, we do still need them.
Perhaps part of the apathy on our part is where we live. Many areas in Maryland that surround DC are called the People’s Republic of {Insert name of super liberal town here.} in jest. If there is any homophobia among the people in the area, it’s ‘in the closet.’ Express homophobia and you can expect to be shunned by the vast majority of the community. You become the village outcast, not the LGBT people you’re attacking.
This safe zone, if you will, certainly removes the feeling of safety I used to feel going to the events. It’s not different than my everyday life. The question then becomes, what about the other feelings I got, the desire to be like that every day – well, I have that too now. I can pretty much go anywhere in my area and not worry about being gay bashed. That might be a false sense of security, but I don’t think so. The places I’d get gay bashed are areas I’d worry about being mugged in general. But at the shops and cafes in and around my house, at the mall, at the sporting events in my area, I don’t feel oppressed at all. It’s clear we’re a couple/family and no one says anything negative. In fact, most people come by to see ‘lil q and are quite friendly.
Why the ‘yes’ answer then? Because there’s still a struggle going on. Not everyone lives in the People’s Republic of My Town. Not everyone can get married, not everyone can adopt together and both be parents and have the same protections that I enjoy. There are still people who think this is a choice, a phase, the result of some parental mistake, whatever. There are still places in the country and around the world where no one cares if you’re being bullied, picked on, taunted, beaten – or worse – killed just because you’re gay. The fact we’re still fighting for marriage equality when it doesn’t affect anyone’s lives but ours, when it has no bearing on straight marriages, their families, their children, or ironically, their divorce rate. When you think in the broader, global sense of community and not the insular local sense, you see that the haves are still a very small part of the whole. There are far too many people who do not have basic rights for us to say ‘mission accomplished.’ [We all know how well that phrased worked out for W.]
In trying to word this answer, I remembered reading a statement about why we need gay pride events. It took a bit of searching, but I found it. This says it better then I did. If you’re ever asked why again, show them this. Comments welcome. - AQG
Please click on over to Debbie McGowan’s site and read the other half of this week’s discussion.
http://www.debbiemcgowan.co.uk
About our Panelists
Larry Benjamin: Bronx-born wordsmith Larry Benjamin, is the author of the gay novels, Unbroken, and What Binds Us and the short story collection Damaged Angels. Larry will be hosting the discussion starting 9 June 2014
Twitter: @WriterLarry
Website: http://www.larrybenjamin.com
Rick Bettencourt: Rick Bettencourt is the author of NOT SURE BOYS, PAINTING WITH WINE and TIM ON BROADWAY. Rick hates to cook, and can often be seen eating out. He lives in the Tampa Bay area, with his husband and their dog, Bandit. Rick will be hosting the discussion starting 23 June 2014
Twitter: @rbettenc
Website: http://rickbettencourt.wordpress.com/
Brandilyn Carpenter: Brandilyn is the odd duck in this group. She owns an LGBTQ fiction focused review blog, Prism Book Alliance, and is the married mother of 3 young children. She is an advocate for equal rights and tirelessly promotes the gay fiction genre. Brandilyn will be hosting the discussion starting 16 June 2014
Twitter: @BrandilynRC
Website: http://www.prismbookalliance.com
Rob Colton: Rob Colton is a software developer by day, and avid reader of romance novels at night. A romantic at heart, he loves stories that feature big, burly men who find true love and happy endings. Rob will be hosting the discussion starting 16 June 2014 Twitter: @robcub32 Website: http://robcolton.com/
Andrew Q. Gordon: Andrew Q. Gordon lives in the Metro DC area with his husband and 2 year old daughter. While he enjoys most types of fiction, his current works include MM Fantasy, Paranormal and Contemporary Fiction. Andrew will be hosting the discussion starting 2 June 2014
Twitter: @AndrewQGordon
Website: http://andrewqgordon.com/
Lane Hayes: Lane Hayes is a M/M author, 2013 Rainbow Award finalist for her first release Better Than Good, designer, reader, lover of chocolate, red wine & clever people. Lane will be hosting the discussion starting 23 June 2014
Twitter: @LaneHayes3
Website: http://lanehayes.wordpress.com/
Debbie McGowan: Debbie McGowan is based in Lancashire, England. She writes character-driven fiction, runs an independent publishing company, and lectures in social science. Sometimes she sleeps, too! Debbie will be hosting the discussion starting 2 June 2014
Twitter: @writerdebmcg
Website: http://www.debbiemcgowan.co.uk
Brandon Shire: Brandon Shire writes fiction about human intimacy and interactions. He loves chocolate and is a staunch advocate for homeless LGBT youth. Brandon will be hosting the discussion starting 9 June 2014
Twitter: @thebrandonshire
Website: http://brandonshire.com
Giveaway
Prizes (4 winners):
$ 10 Amazon GC, eBook Listening to Dust by Brandon Shire, & eBook Not Sure Boys by Rick Bettencourt
$ 10 Amazon GC, eBook Painting with Wine by Rick Bettencourt, & eBook from Andrew Q Gordon’s backlist
$ 10 Amazon GC, eBook Unbroken by Larry Benjamin, & eBook Champagne by Debbie McGowen
$ 10 Amazon GC, eBook from Rob Colton’s backlist, & eBook from Lane Hayes’ backlist
