What’s in a name?

flower shop signSometimes the names we’re born with don’t go well with businesses or jobs we choose as adults. You can change your name, of course, or just put up with the jokes if the name sounds funny with your chosen occupation.


But if you’re naming a business, it’s wise to give serious thought to your choice.


I’ve heard of several orthopedic surgeons and dentists name Dr. Payne. Those professions would also be problematic if your name were Hertz. Try saying to your six-year-old, “Get your jacket, we’re going to see Dr. Hertz!” (Picture struggling to stuff Garfield into a cat carrier when he knows he’s going to the vet.)


There are lots of dentists named Dr. Chu, but that one’s just cute.


Dr. Dement, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford, must have a sense of humor. The former Archbishop of Manila, Jaime Sin, enjoyed a good laugh when people called him “Cardinal Sin.”


Whalen is an unfortunate name to have if you’re an animal rights activist. Griese is not a good name for a gourmet chef, a lawyer named Cheatham is a walking punchline, and (I couldn’t make this up) there is actually a Dye Funeral Home. If you’ve grown up with a strange name all your life, it has lost its strangeness and just sounds like family to you. You might be proud of it, but if your fine old family name is Hitler or Bin Laden, please call your business something else.


On a Virginia highway, I once saw a panel truck with this sign: “Peed Plumbing – Let your drains flow freely.” I hope that’s a family name, because if someone chose it for the business, that’s just wrong.


If your business might relocate, don’t name it after the original location. Blackstone TV and Appliance moved from Blackstone Avenue to Cedar Avenue, but it’s still named Blackstone TV and Appliance. Shields Medical Clinic long ago moved from Shields Avenue to Herndon, but it’s still called Shields Medical Clinic. Even if you think you’re never moving, no one knows what the future holds. You can’t easily rename your business just because you lost your lease.


At least think about how your business name looks on a sign or a truck, and be careful about spacing and placement of the words. Yesterday I saw a big, heavy truck with this sign on the door:


AAA Battery

Delivery & Installation


Aren’t AAA batteries those tiny ones that power small electronic devices? You need a truck to deliver and install those?


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Published on May 31, 2014 17:02
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