How to Get Fat in Paris

These are your new best friends

1. Constantly go to cafes. Order coffee. It’ll come with a large jug of full-fat milk and will taste so bitter, you’ll need to douse it in sugar. You’re going to need a croissant to break up the strong flavor of coffee. It’ll be made almost entirely of butter.

2. Buy “souvenirs” for friends and family back home – macaroons are a great choice! However, they don’t last more than two days, so you will have to eat them immediately and bring your friends postcards ins...