Let Noobs Die in a Fire

Time for a geeky World of Warcraft post. I’m healing on a Holy Paladin.

Combat begins…

Boss creates completely obvious pool of fire on the ground centered where the Mage, the Hunter and the Warlock are standing.

The Hunter and Warlock scamper out of the fire and take a damage tick.

Mage doesn’t move and just keeps casting Frostbolt at the boss.

Mage takes some damage from the fire.

I cast a Flash of Light at the Mage and top up his health.

I Flash of Light the Hunter and then the Warlock to top up health.

[Jennifer: Just to be clear, I have no idea what any of this means.]

Mage takes some damage from the fire.

Mage keeps casting Frostbolt at the boss.

Holy Light healing the Warrior tanking the boss.

Me: Move out of the fire.

Mage takes some damage from the fire.

Mage keeps casting Frostbolt at the boss.

[Jennifer: Y'all wanted him to blog again.]

I cast Holy Light and top up the Mage’s health.

Holy Light healing the Warrior tanking the boss.

Me: MOVE MAGE

Mage takes some damage from the fire.

Mage keeps casting Frostbolt at the boss.

Holy Light on the Mage.

Mage takes some damage from the fire.

Mage keeps casting Frostbolt at the boss.

Holy Light on the Warrior tanking the boss.

Me: …

[Jennifer: Oh dear god, just skip to the end if you don't play Warcraft. He goes on and on like this for a while.]

Mage falls to 15% health.

Mage: WTF HEAL

Emote: Paladin blows Mage a kiss!

Mage: #&*%**# YOU

Mage dies in the fire.

Holy Light on Warrior.

[Jennifer: Why am I even editing this post at 1am? This whole thing smacks of a Fitness Test.]

Boss killed and looted.

Mage: WHY DON’T YOU LEARN TO PLAY YOU SHITTY HEALER

Me: I’m not going to heal you if you stand in the fire.

Mage: Screw you.

Hmmmm…. challenge accepted.

Requeue for another dungeon hoping the Mage is so desperate for groups he’ll join again.

New group forms. Death Knight is tank.

Mage: The healer is crappy kick him.

Death Knight pulls three packs of trash mobs, tanks easily, I keep everyone up easily.

[Jennifer: Keep going, I'll tell you when to start reading again.]

Mage pulls next pack of mobs.

Death Knight ignores Mage and pulls two other packs.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth from the Mage as he’s owned by enraged orcs.

Mage: Rez please.

Me: Run back in.

Mage: …

Mage eventually runs back in the front door of the instance and catches up with the group.

Final boss again, combat begins…

Boss creates completely obvious pool of fire on the ground centered where the Mage, the Hunter and the Warlock are standing.

Everyone quickly scampers out of the fire.

 

So… the moral of the story.

[Jennifer: HERE! Start reading here!]

If people don’t respond to talk, let the natural consequences play out and allow their folly to educate them.

Sometimes people have to repeatedly die in a fire before they learn. If you keep helping them, you’re training them to be stupid. And by default to despise you.

Now if you’re a nice person, you probably feel that allowing the lazy and stupid to get owned by their sub-optimal planning, makes you a terrible, terrible person. If that’s the case, you’re probably also confusing the subtle, but important difference between fire extinguishers and flamethrowers. It’s not like you set them on fire.

So…

What dumb shit do you keep rescuing your partner from, that they are completely capable of handling themselves?