Welcome to Cape Cod

Laser Tag with a Cover Model Four Seas Ice Cream and Undertow

Welcome to Cape Cod

So . . . I have been totally neglectful of my blog, but it wasn’t because I was addicted to reruns of X-Files or something. I was finishing some edits to STORMFRONT which will launch this summer on Cape Cod (end of July . . . I am hoping). I am also a mom and a Cape Codder (born and raised) and certain weekends on Cape Cod = BBQs, parties, and traffic. It also means that my office is essentially off limits for three days straight.

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend – it is considered the “kick-off” event for our beachside heaven; the roads are packed, the grocery store mobbed, and the scent of charcoal seems to hang in the air. It is a time of water balloons, beach bonfires, and paper table cloths. We spend time entrenched with our family and friends and remember the sacrifices that let us enjoy our beachside freedom.

So, no. I haven’t been on my blog, but now I am. Back because I feel it my duty to relate the “Rules of the Road” if you are visiting Cape Cod (and no – Piping Plovers probably do not taste like chicken, and if you test that theory, you will find that prison food tastes like crap, and that’s a fact).

Cape Cod Road Rules and Funky Facts:

1. Installed beneath the Rte 6 highway are a set of giant gears that make the road become more narrow and thereby cause an even greater crush of traffic. Okay – that’s a total lie, but if you try to come to Cape Cod between 2-8pm on Fridays and 9-2pm on Saturdays, you will find yourself begging for a Teleporter from StarTrek. I’ve actually heard some people scream, “Beam me up, Scotty before I kill someone!” FYI – SMART visitors, come to the Cape on Thursday nights, Friday at the crack of dawn or anytime on Sunday.

2. Leaving is worse than coming. Never, EVER try to leave Cape Cod on a Sunday (anytime) or Saturday before 5pm. Just trust me . . . it’s a golden ticket to the nut house if you try it. And no – 6A won’t save your soul.

3. We get hurricanes. And earthquakes, though they are fairly small. If there is a hurricane coming, just stay put (see afore mentioned traffic nightmares) and don’t try surfing. Ever. You can, however, sandblast your vehicle if you drive down to the beach to watch the wind and waves.

4. Cape Cod is a great place to ride bicycles . . . IN DESIGNATED AREAS. We have miles of canal and rail trails for you to hop on your two wheeler and enjoy the picturesque beauty of our land. Please, for love of God, DO NOT RIDE YOUR BIKE DOWN 6A, RTE 28, RTE 6 – it is a sure fire way to end up standing at the Pearly Gates and not at the local cafe your were headed to.

5. No, we won’t divulge our super-secret backroads that allow us to get around the traffic.

6. Yes, we have sharks, great whites included and yup – they come close to shore. They also hang out in the canal and watch the traffic over-head and try to take note of the people who disobey rules 1, 2, and 4 . . . it makes them less guilt-ridden when they chew on the rule-rebels.

7. The town of Bourne (that last ditch effort to get off the traffic clogged highways that head on Cape) is home to stunning beaches that most people totally ignore . . . which, I guess is actually okay, because I can have my pick of beach spots. You know what? Just ignore this part of my post . . .

8. The Silver Seas cruise line heads through the Cape Cod Canal once a week (around 10pm) and is an insane sight to behold. It is completely worth camping at Bourne Scenic Park to just get a glimpse of it.

9. For most Cape Codders, fall is the most stunning time of year. The weather is perfect, the beaches endless and open, and the traffic has dwindled. We will miss you, our visitor friends who come for a small piece of our world and our lives, and we encourage you to think long and hard about what you have enjoyed while here. Because if you loved it for a weekend, why not come and live here, along side us, all year round?