For Guy’s Eyes Only: She’s Not Going to Look

Let’s just start with the end, fellas; if you are dating a woman, put the toilet seat down. 

I know, I know, I know. I’m a guy, and I have had numerous battles over why it’s not a big deal when I leave the seat up. But, it makes no difference the kind of man-logic we throw out, women want the seat down.
 
I’ve been married for over twenty years. My wife has told me that if the seat is up, she falls into the toilet. Now, had I never used the toilet in a sitting position, I probably would have concurred with her. But, we sit like women. Our knees bend the same direction. Gravity pulls us down the same, if not more so, than women. And, since we men sit also, we too could fall prey to the “cheeks in the water” syndrome…Yet, we don’t. Why? Because we look. It’s that simple. We look before we sit.
 
Did you ever have your chair pulled out from under you in grade school? If it happened once, it was probably the last time. Why? Because, from then on you looked. When you go to a restaurant and walk up to the table, do you just sit haphazardly hoping that there’s a chair behind you? Of course not. You look! If you fall in a toilet once, wouldn’t you think from then on you’d look to be sure the seat was down?
 
I know that men are used to leaving the seat up so it’s natural for us to check. I know that we only sit a fraction of the time, so there are fewer chances of us to fall into the bowl. Still, I would think that’s really no excuse for women to continue to fall into the toilet. To be honest, I would think all of that practice since the toddler years would make women experts at checking the seat before sitting. Fall once shame on you (the man). Fall every single week for 27 years, shame on me (the woman)…right?
 
Apparently not. The brains of women and men are wired differently. So, guys, you can’t assume that the woman you are dating thinks the same way that you do. And, no matter how she tries to explain it to you, you are not going to understand her logic, because your brain doesn’t work the same way hers does. Think of her like a dog owner and you are a Labrador Retriever. She leaves a pork chop on the dining room table and explains to you that you are not allowed to eat it. It’s not doggie food. It’s not good for you. You look at her and concentrate on every sound that is coming from her mouth. She leaves. What you got from her talk were the words: “eat,” “food,” and probably your name. She leaves food, which must obviously be for you. So, you eat it.
 
She returns and scolds you. Why? You just don’t get it. You did something wrong, but it doesn’t make sense to you what exactly was wrong with what you did.
 
Don’t fight it. Don’t try to understand it. Don’t argue. It’s not worth it. Just accept it. You can’t win, because the two of you are both playing the same game using different instructions. 
 
So, put the seat down. It’s not that hard to do. It’s not like you’ll forget to lift it when you take a leak. When you are dating, there need to be compromises. At times you’ll need to be flexible and she’ll return the favor, just not with the toilet seat. At least she’ll be happy it’s down when she goes…because, she’s just not going to look!