First Ten Years of Forever

Ten years ago, on a very hot day, I sweated in a white dress in an un-air-conditioned wing of a church, and waited.

I was nervous, I was hot (hence, the sweat). Someone found a fan and stuck it under my dress so I could have some air blowing up over my legs.

I almost chickened out. Not out of marrying the guy I loved, but out of the walk down the aisle. I had a sudden premonition that as soon as the doors opened and that aisle stretched out before me, I would lose my breakfast. Rather than risk that embarrassment, I wanted to run out the back door and plan an elopement later.

I'm glad I didn't.

When the doors opened, I somehow managed to cling to my dad's arm and trip and stumble my way down the aisle all the way at the front, where we smiled shyly at each other, like we had only just met.


I wondered
     Ten years ago,
          What I would do this morning
     When I woke and watched your face,
          Relaxed, peaceful,
     Lashes free of glasses,
Breathing in deep, steady draughts of dreamland.

I wondered
     What ten years would do to this
          Thing called "Us."

And so, I grasped my bouquet with nervous fingers.
     The doors opened,
          The music flowed.
               The white satin rustled
                     Toward you, at the front.

The words we said to each other
      That day
           Were meant to last
                 A lifetime.

So here we are
     Ten years later.
           New wrinkles, gray hairs write a
                 Story
                      Stronger than words:
     Roses from our bush
          Offered wordlessly,
               A stroke of color
                    When I'm not looking.

I woke today and
      Watched your sleeping face,
           And wondered what I should do
                To love you today.

I got up
     And cleaned a mess
           And changed a diaper
                And wiped some mouths
                      And settled an argument
                           And loved our offspring

And loved you
      Because this is
           Our First Ten Years of Forever.