Danger Everywhere

It’s in the news again. Another investigation has resulted in charges against some 70 individuals allegedly involved in creating and distributing child pornography. That’s wonderful news—because those sick people have been caught. Thank you, THANK YOU, to those investigators for putting those monsters masquerading as humans away. But ugh…it’s also bad news because the lives of their child victims will never be the same. And once again, we’re reminded that child predators walk among us.

Do you read those articles? I do. I hate clicking on the link, and the details make me sick but I feel the need to read the details, and if possible, to see the faces of the guilty. As a mom, I feel like it’s something I have to do. I want to know who they are and how they got close to those poor kids they hurt so badly, so as a mom, I can do my best to make sure my child doesn’t ever become a victim. I want to see their faces because I know they won’t look like “perverts”, but they’ll look like “normal” people I see every day at the grocery store and at the swimming pool and the mall, and I want to remind myself of that.

When I was twelve, my Army dad got a new assignment and we moved to Central America. After a few weeks in the base Guest House, we finally got our quarters and moved in. I was upstairs, going into my new room to start unpacking boxes when one of the movers came out of another room. He picked me up off the ground in a sweaty embrace and gave me a big sloppy kiss right on the mouth. I wriggled free and hightailed it downstairs to where my mom was unpacking dishes in the kitchen, and stayed within two feet of her for the rest of the day, until the movers were gone. I didn’t tell her about that nasty old guy kissing me because I didn’t want anyone to make a big, unpleasant “deal” about it. I was so lucky. That’s all that happened. I feel so very fortunate that the adults in my past were trustworthy.

But I have friends whose childhood memories have horrible, dark shadows in them. Days and moments they’ll never forget because they were so traumatic. I don’t want my kids to ever have to suffer that. I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old, and we’ve had some very frank conversations that I hope will keep them safe every day, at school, at church activities, and anywhere else they may go. And if they have a problem I truly think they’ll tell me right away, unlike my twelve year old self who just kept quiet.

Still, as a parent, when it comes to my kids I tend to look at the world with a certain level of suspicion and mistrust. One example, my daughter has a good friend who lives down the street, but I don’t know the parents well. They’ve invited her to go to an uncle’s surprise birthday party this weekend—one of those all day and into the night parties where there will be swimming and food and fun. My first thought? Suspicion. A grown up uncle? So there will be adults there, in addition to kids? What if there’s a BAD PERSON there, in proximity to my daughter? I know my neighbors love their kids, but will they watch over mine as much as I would if I were there? So…I haven’t given an answer yet.

Am I wrong? Should I trust more? I don’t want to keep my kids from having fun and making great memories. Especially at this age, where they are both starting to enjoy some independence. How do we as parents let our kids enjoy the world and all it has to offer, while protecting them?