Reputable Surrender (Part 1) The Problem
The Carlyn
Michael Kavanaugh dropped off the supply box for the sunset cruise scheduled for tonight. One lucky-in-love-or-lust couple was in for some fun, judging by those supplies. A good length of rope, cuffs, a flogger, Jojoba oil, wax, a blindfold and a ball-gag. His kind of party favors. He could only imagine using them to make a treasured sub sweat and pant in the cooling breeze that wafted off the lake at dusk this time of year.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have a sub, treasured or otherwise to sail with and he didn’t know why. He suspected it had to do with wanting more from his relationships, but that seemed selfish and egotistical. Two negative characteristics he’d worked hard to overcome these last few years. Lately though, he worried that by tamping down those urges he’d somehow lost his “great” passion when dealing with the opposite sex.
This was why he’d come to the resort. He’d been hoping to rediscover himself with like-minded individuals, but that plan had backfired. Instead of having his kink reinvigorated he was forced to face facts. Various play partners didn’t do it for him anymore. He wanted one. The one. A woman who was strong enough to kneel at his feet one moment, and be ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with him in time of crisis, the next.
He thought about his friends as he hopped off the yacht onto the dock. Each one of them had found their “one” and although he was happy for them he couldn’t help being envious. Were their lives perfect? No, but their lives were rich and full of—he paused to check one of the tie-downs—surprises. Yeah, as simple as that sounded the concept was complex. To be surprised meant that you were astonished or filled with wonder, two things he hadn’t experienced in a relationship in a very long time. Of course as good as this sounded it also meant you might have the occasion to be flabbergasted, stunned or shocked. He had a hunch that Ted had more of the latter than Rene, Ethan or David combined, but they were all happy none-the-less.
As he ascended the stairs built into the embankment, he thought about lust versus love. That was the difference in his mind. His friends were in love and here he was trying to recapture falling in lust. He wasn’t ready for love despite the surprises as this meant a union of soul. Lust was so much simpler. A union of flesh, but hell, why was there no female flesh around that he lusted over? God knew there was plenty of it at the resort. That was the problem. He’d been approached more times than he could count over the last few days and not one of the submissive beauties had caught his interest. Why?
Because none of them have what you want.
Did a sub like that even exist? A woman who would lick him from head to toe, cry for him, pant, groan and purr for him all because she lived for it? Because he was her drug of choice. The captor of her attention. Her life, her breath—her cherished and trusted Dom.
He was halfway to the boat house when he remembered the text he’d gotten twenty minutes ago. It was from Rene.
Our nanny has Bea for the afternoon so Alexis and I have a date. I left the invoices on the front porch. Don’t ring the bell because Laren’s trying to put our girl to sleep. Thanks. R.
Michael took a deep breath and headed around the house to the front door. He figured it was better pitching in with business shit now that he was here. At least it would give him an excuse if anyone noticed how scarce he was when it came to partaking in the festivities. So much for the relaxing kinky retreat he’d envisioned. He should have stayed home.
The second that came to him, so did the sound of a baby crying. Only it didn’t come from the house. It was outside. He spun around and scanned the foliage that dotted the right side of the property. Most of the trees were willows, swaying gently in the afternoon breeze, but when a large section of leafy drape shifted he saw them. Baby Bea and her nanny. They were sitting on a bright blue blanket. Bea was screaming her head off. Probably because Rene wasn’t around. That made him smile as everyone knew how attached she was to her dad.
As he watched, the woman rocked and he imagined, sang softly to calm the baby down. For a full two minutes she never changed her position as she steadily moved back and forth until Bea took a big hiccupping breath and settled right in. For the life of him, Michael had no idea why he stood there watching the scene, but then it came to him.
Advertising. All week long women of various stages of provocative undress had been advertising themselves for his consideration, and here was a woman who wasn’t and she’d caught his attention?
It made no sense, and as he scooped up the invoices he decided it must have been the woman’s beautiful hair that interested him. Odd, because that wasn’t usually his thing. He loved asses. The shape, curve and contour of a woman’s ass, was the calling card that drew him. He was also a sucker for eyes. The bigger the better as they shed thick, salty tears and had more room to shine with devotion.
That was such an obscene thought, giving what he was looking at, that Michael swallowed his self-disgust. Because when the woman bent and pressed a kiss on the baby’s forehead, he’d felt something he hadn’t felt for a long time. Shame. Here she was caretaking a precious little being and all he could do was imagine defiling a different kind of precious being. A faceless sub with ridiculously thick, probably silky as fuck, mahogany-colored hair.
“Kavanaugh?”
Michael turned. He hadn’t even heard Rene approach. “Hey.”
“You get those invoices? I thought I’d come back and check on my girl. She was pretty upset when we left.”
Normally Michael would have ribbed him for being a candy ass, but not today. Not now. “She’s fine. As you can see.” He pointed to the cluster of willows and said, “Rocked right to sleep.”
Rene scanned the area and then smiled, but his joyful expression didn’t last. When he turned back, he was scowling. “How do you know she was rocked to sleep? Have you had an eye on them that long? You better not. Laren is off limits.”
For some reason that statement landed like a kick in the gut. “I see. She’s married.”
“Fuck, Kavanaugh. What is it with you and other men’s wives?” He sighed long and deep and then explained more reasonably, “Look, she’s getting a divorce. It’s fresh and too soon for her to be approached. The only reason she’s here is to help us with Bea.”
Michael nodded and went to leave, but Rene grabbed his arm.
“Promise me you’ll keep your distance. I know something’s up. I’ve seen you turn down a number of impressive opportunities over the last few days. Do you want to talk about it?”
If he did, what could he say? I think I’m tired of being “The Reputable Dom”? Where the hell did that come from? Was that it? Was this his problem?
He pulled, but Rene didn’t release his arm, only curiously studied him. “Friends help friends with problems. I’m here for you. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t.” But even as he said this he wondered how quickly his friend would be there for him if he knew what he was thinking. Great ass or big eyes it didn’t matter whether Laren had either of those things. Because now Michael knew she represented something he wanted that mattered more to him than any physical attribute could.
“Just to be clear. You have no interest in her, correct?”
Michael shook his head. “We haven’t even met.”
Rene finally let go. “Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”
Michael may have nodded when they headed back up to the Carlyn, but he knew that was never going to happen. In his experience, lying laid the ground work toward future problems. Now, if he’d told Rene the truth, that he did have an interest in Laren, she’d have been parked quite nicely in his past.
No problem.
But then there were no surprises in the past. Those events had come and gone. Not so with the future. The future held all kinds of surprises.
And problems.
He knew this to be true as he faced one immediately. His rapidly beating heart- which had been flat-lining in the lust department for so long- he worried he was having an anxiety attack. But then, he highly doubted someone suffering from one of those would be sporting a cock so hard it could potentially set off the metal detectors at TSA. Thank Christ he wasn’t going anywhere…except straight to hell if you go after her.
When they reached the resort, Rene opened the door for him. “Do you want to join me and Alex for lunch?”
“No thanks. I’m going to drop these off to Basel.” He tapped the invoices against his thigh. “After that I’m heading to the gym.” He didn’t add, so I can do a heavy workout with weights, instead of working out your nanny. Why should both of them have to worry?
“Gym, huh?” Rene stared hard. “Good man.”
But Michael’s biggest fear now was that he wasn’t going to be.
