How to Make a Hobbit Hole
Written by the illustrious Jay Swanson
When you visit your parents, you may be conscripted into a brief bout of manual labor (brief if you’re lucky). When this happens, make the most of it.
For example: if you have to do some digging, why not make a hobbit hole? Here’s how.
Step 1: Dig a hole.
This pretty much takes a shovel and some clay that won’t collapse when you dig your hole. My parents currently live in east Texas which has no shortage of clay to go around. Still, try not to get greedy (my original hole had issues when someone else came to dig a little).
Step 2: Make some signs to warn the neighbors.
It’s only fair, hobbits get nasty when they’re hungry.
Find an old Amazon box and cut it up. Then cut it up some more until it resembles letters.
I did one set as a cutout with a black background, and then painted the second set and glued them onto their sign. This is easier than you may think (or exactly as easy as you’re probably thinking).
If you know anything about kerning just throw that out the window because this isn’t the place.
If you want to spray paint cardboard letters, though, you’ll need double-sided tape or some other weak adhesive to hold them down while you’re spraying. Too weak of an adhesive and you’ll be chasing letters across the garage. Too strong and you’ll just end up with a bunch of black cardboard.
Step 3: Plant the signs next to the hole.
It only makes sense, otherwise how will people know it’s a hobbit hole?
And there you go, your very own hobbit hole. Hopefully it gives you a good laugh, because if you don’t, there’s a good chance no one else will.
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