A Lack of Productivity

There has been nothing produced in the Millar household for some time now. Writing has ground to a halt along with all other activity. Dishes remain unwashed, email remains unanswered and bills languish unopened on the carpet.

Why is this? Well, it could be because -

A) Scarlett Johansson has finally accepted my invitation to spend a cozy weekend together.

B) I have been engaged in important charity work for the United Nations.

or

C) I've been slumped on the couch night and day, unable to drag my...