Twitterlicious-Yeah, I don't get it

I recently did a blog post at my other blog, Knowledge Stew, titled 5 Social Networking Sites You Thought Were Dead - But Are They?  It was a light little piece about social networks that came and went.  I had been wondering what happened to some of them and did a little research.  I rambled and ranted a little about my complete confusion over Twitter.  Now I wanted to ramble some more.

I told myself in the early days of Twitter (pre-authoring) that I would never get an account there.  I finally relented and got a Facebook account first, but still I told myself--noTwitter.

I was barely active on Facebook, maybe a post once every couple of months, so I thought there was no way I would ever have the inclination to be on that "other thing".  Then I released my book.  Everything I kept reading was social media this, social media that; so I obliged and made an author Facebook page.  I was okay with that.  But then I kept reading about authors' insistence about having a Twitter account.  One was "tweeting" like crazy every day (still dislike that term), while others splashed every piece of information they could about what they were up to.  "Okay," I decided, "it's time to swallow up the Twitter thing." 

I opened my account and set up my snazzy homepage, landing page--whatever you call it--and sent out a "tweet" to a friend that agreed to follow me (pour soul).  I then waited for the flood of followers to join my newly formed social network.  I waited, and waited--and waited some more.  No one was flocking (pardon the pun) to follow.  I had two followers, which I know, jump on the bandwagon.  Now, don't feel sorry for me.  I've tweeted something five times--yes, five times--in eight months.  I learned that you have to actually try to get followers, and that you have to tweet something.  But the problem was, I didn't have anything to say.  Is that okay?  Do we always have to be saying something?  In the Twitter universe it is a resounding, yes.

So there's my first problem with Twitter.  My second problem is that I don't understand the hashtag thing.  For example, I think I'll say something about cats and put a bunch of hashtags after it;#cutecats, #catsanddogs, #livingtogethermasshysteria.  What the...?  Do these phrases go into some paradoxical universe of the internet and somehow bind us together.  Is someone looking for these phrases?  My friend who uses Twitter somewhat regularly couldn't even explain it.

A third problem I have is all the shortcuts trying to convey your message in the required amount of characters.  I would have to write this last sentence: 3rd prob convey ur mess req amt of charactrs #shortcut #funnycats.  That was clear, right?  I love it when reporters do news articles on what someone tweeted, and the writer has to use their Twitter decoder ring to figure out what the person was saying.  Those are the best.

My last problem (and there could be many more) are those tiny little website links.  They usually look like http://goo.gl/hs6nYq.  They're called tiny url's.  It reminds me of a link in a bad email, the one that sends you to a site offering the world's greatest health cure, or a Bahamas vacation for under $10 bucks.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know many people love Twitter, and I don't fault anyone for using it to its fullest potential.  But I've discovered it might not be the best tool for me.  I've come to terms that it's okay to feel that way after consulting with a Tweeter psychologist.  I can move on.  So, to my throngs of Twitter followers--yes, you three--I won't be deleting my author Twitter account just yet.  You never know, I may just turn it around have something interesting to say about dogs. #gooddog #Marmaduke #rollover

What's your experience with Twitter; good, bad, ugly?  Do you like it, or God forbid, love it?  Please, help me understand.  #takecare