The Title At the End of the Reader's Patience

pascal campionEveryone once in a while, Abigail and I trawl through book covers on Goodreads - for whatever reason - and part of the ritual is to make commentary on the titles, covers, and synopses as we go by.  We tend to be critical people, for good or ill, and while it is generally considered taboo to hold a negative opinion about anything, there are some truly regrettable book titles out there, among other maladies in the trade.  I thought I might share with you a few good ones I ran across, as well as some typical bad ones - and it should be said that my opinion about all of these titles in no way reflects the content of the books.  Let us proceed.

hush, hushA unique title, with a good cadence.
gracelingAgain, unique, it has a good sound, and when you say it you want to know more.
fireWhat.  You did so well with Graceling.  What happened?  Fire?  That's it?  Sit tight and you'll see a glimpse of the fiery competition that your title is up against.
eyes like starsYour character can have eyes like stars, but not in the title.  While it may be totally pertinent, it says amateur romance.
the hunger games, mockingjayBoth of these are evocative and unique.  The Hunger Games?  What is this curiosity?  "Mockingjay"!  Just feel the way that tingles when you say it.  Alluring use of curiosity and cadence here.
shadows of the realmEverything the light touches is part of our kingdom, but that shadowy bit over there is the elephants' graveyard.  ...Just wait: "shadows" is totally hackneyed.  You really have to know what you're doing to pull that word off.
betrayedWell, I guess I don't need to read the book, then.
poison studyNot great, but also not lousy.  You have an immediate idea that there is a mystery here, you know generally what you are getting into, but the title does not try to cram the entire synopsis of the book down your throat.  It leaves room for the mystery of the plot itself.
gardens of the moonHere is a case of a title rising up out of the ashes of hackneyed title nouns.  Gardens on the moon?  Tell me more!
son of ereubusFirst of all, "offspring of - " is also hackneyed.  If the character cannot carry off the reader by the strength of his own personality and purpose, but has to depend upon his pedigree (which is a form of deus ex machina, as the circumstance was completely out of his own control), then why do I want to read about that character?  And that isn't how you spell "Erebus."
daughter of the forestThis could mean anything.  Is she a Native American?  Is she a fairy?  Why she ain't got no parents?  Not enough information - I'm not interested.
the name of the windAnother case of interest in the face of hackneyed nouns.  I want to know why the wind has a name; who knows this? how did he find out? what can you do with this knowledge? 
darkspire reachesExcellence was within your grasp, and you literally overreached yourself.  "Darkspire."  Sounds interesting.  What does that mean?  Is it a name, or a place?  "Darkspire Reaches"?  Now it's just another fantasy novel.
ombria in shadowI realize that darkness is a legitimate, accurate depiction of evil, but the only seriously scary "shadow" I have ever read was the opaque, deadly, sentient Shadow of A Wrinkle In Time.  Otherwise most shadows just seem lame.  And hackneyed.
the fox womanThere are lots of werewolves and vampires and changelings and shape-shifters out there, but a simple little "the fox woman" is not trying too hard to pull you in - one almost feels it is the nameless name given to a local legend that no one dares speak about too closely.  Less is more!
my name is rapunzel"I know my name! Get on with it!"  Everyone (including Rapunzel) knows Rapunzel's name, and Rapunzel's story.  You are not assuring me that you have conjured up anything remotely unique here with this bland title.  Why would I want to pick this book up?
his majesty's dragonOkay.  Whoa.  Hold on.  His Majesty's what now?  You got me.  What lies behind this delectable morsel of title-flesh?
born in flames, embracing the flamesOne of these is impossible, the other is very inadvisable, both are cliche.
the doom guardianHow do you guard doom?  How do you say that without laughing?  And how well does that pay? are there benefits...?
sabrielThis doesn't really tell you anything about the book, but it's simple, quick, easy to remember, and it's a pretty name.  Props!
glimmerglassIf you think about it too hard, it could sound dumb, but mostly it's just a lovely series of sounds that conjure up vague but magical images that you would like to hunt down further.  It's a good title.
the pillars of the earth, world without endWell, Scripture is a good place to steal from.  These are strong titles, evocative of power, and while they may not tell you much about the books themselves, the titles stand alone without any apology.
shadows returnWhich means my husband will need to put in new light bulbs.
fire of stars and dragonsDo all the fantasy things.
the broken destinyAnd more of the fantasy things.
everneathThey were trying to make a catchy fantasy title, but they tried a little too hard.  What does "everneath" even mean?  It does not sound intelligent enough to warrant further investigation.
legends rebornLegends and birth.  More classic fantasy tropes.
the god enginesWhat is this - this - this violent meeting of "spiritualism" and "materialism"?  Here are two often incongruous ideas brought together in a title!  You have my attention!
caged in darkness...and you lost it again.
the looking glass warsThere is a whole pack of good cadence, action, and scintillating fantasy in one sublime title.
the legend of witchtrot roadThis escapes falling into the "legend" trope by the delightful tongue-in-cheek springiness of the addition of "witchtrot road."  I kind of just like saying it.  "Witchtrot."  Okay, I'll pick up the book.  What happened there...?
the way of shadowsTypically you have an opaque or translucent object upon which you shine a light, and since the light does not wholly penetrate the object, it leaves a hollow on the other side, without light, and that hollowness we call shadow...
spell hunterNot only is this cliche, but how on earth do you even do that?  It does not sound sensible.  I'm moving on.
the stolen moon of londorWhere is Londor?  It has a moon?  And how was it stolen?  More importantly - by whom?  Tell me more of this picturesque image.
dawnsingerOh yes, my favourite: Noun Gerunds!  This must be one of the oldest fantasy cliches in the book (I saw this pun coming, even though I didn't intend it.)  Now, unless "the stars cast down their spears // and watered heaven with their tears," this just sounds lame and amateur.
city of a thousand dollsAlarmed, interested, immediately picturing cities populated by dolls.  The cadence is good, and the subject matter is intriguing.  I would pull this off the shelf and actually look at it.
king of thornsThat is not a good prize.
darkness risingYou again?
divergentThis is totally fun to say, and just vague enough that I might actually ride the wave of the pretty word enough to overcome my apathy and pick this book off the shelf to find out more about it.
the gathering darknessI swear by my pretty floral bonnet, if I see the word "darkness" one more time...
the whirlwind in the thorn treeOkay, this is a good title.  Nobody's asking anybody to rule over a weedy hedge, and it is reminiscent of, I don't know, Thomas Hardy and other classic writers that are actually rather terrible but somehow won acclaim.  And isn't that an awesome mental picture?  The whirlwind in the thorn tree...
the chains that you refuseThis is not only an excellent use of cadence, but it draws the reader in immediately.  What chains did I refuse?  What does it mean for me?  What am I going to do?  Tell to me my fortune!
daughter of smoke and bone"That doesn't seem like a very good mating."
the half-made worldGood cadence; and who made the world? why is it half-baked? who lives there? what does it mean for them? how do we finish this world? 
the body finder...is always the jogger because they are out alone in the early morning.  Also (red flag!): NOUN GERUND. Dun dun du-u-un...
stormdancerYou will get struck by lightning and the grammar police.  NOUN GERUND.
vampyre kissesFirst of all, I was going to let it go on the virtue of truth in advertising, but then they replaced the "i" in "vampire" with a "y," and that is just uncalled-for.
artemis fowlIs just a straight-up shindigging fun name to say.
paladin of soulsI didn't know that was a job, and I don't know how you do that, but I can tell it has its teeth sunk deep into the fantasy trope.
casket of soulsI...I am really having to suspend my disbelief that this could work - by a slender thread over a fatal drop.
sword of the deceiverI can't tell if this is literal, metaphorical, suggestive, or what.  It does not sound as though it would do justice to the reader's intelligence.
gemini of the emreianaDid any of you read that last word?  Did any of you pronounce it?  Neither did I.  Next book.
everlasting embrace...is going to get awkward when someone has to use the restroom.
crown of shadowsI don't know how you would do that, unless you were deep into an introspection in a shabby armchair in a shabby smoking gown puffing away tug-boat-like upon a pipe.  And I don't think that is the image they want to conjure.  It's fantasy, anyway; we got that much: "crowns" and "shadows" and all.
the war of the flowersFirst of all, this was a real thing, and it sounded better under the original title "The War of the Roses."  I have no idea what this book is trying to sell, but it sounds totally bloodless and cheap.  Possibly hippie.
lightbornUnless this is a spiritual metaphor, this is impossible.  Stop using "born."  
lake of sorrowsYou should probably move.
sunrunner's fireGet all the fantasy noun-gerund tropes in there!
eyes like sky and coal and moonlightThis is my favourite.  I don't know what things happened to this title, but an editor was not one of them.
the throne of fireDo not sit on that throne.
A good book title is extremely important, as I hope we can all see by now. I think a lot of people sense that, but then try too hard.  It is important, and you should definitely put a lot of thought into the title of your novel, but whatever you do, avoid being chintzy, try not to take yourself too seriously (this is mostly fantasy, after all, which is a genre bloated to the exploding point with material and ponderous self-worth), relax, and just be sensible.  And enjoy the ridiculous nature of the genre as well, because sometimes you really have to laugh to keep from crying.