When it's not all about family

A man I know, father of three, spent Mother’s Day shuttling his teenage son to a mandatory sports tryout for fall sports. That was his morning. He spent the afternoon watching this same son’s spring soccer game, also mandatory if the boy wants to stay on the team. Mom took the backseat in all this—as moms and dads do every day because sports take up seven out of seven days in this and nearly all sports families’ schedules. But on Mother’s or Father’s days parents are forced to make the bigger sacrifice: they must choose between their one designated day of honor and their children’s recreational pursuits.

In the world of children’s sports, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both just another day.

I remember facing this dilemma more than a decade ago when my elementary school age son played baseball. Mandatory games were scheduled for Mother’s and Father’s days. My husband and I had to choose between encouraging our son to be faithful to his team or teaching him the importance of honoring his parents.

This family boycotted both games.

How do we teach our children values? Suze Orman, the money guru, relates a telling anecdote about how she learned the importance of money as a child when her family home was on fire. Her father ran into the burning building despite the danger to retrieve the cash he had tucked away. Suze claims she learned that day that money was more valuable than anything.

But that’s not a new revelation. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21. What we devote our time, money, and energy to is revealing. It tells the world what we love—a message even a child can grasp without a word.

We talk about the importance of family. Talk, talk, talk. Family values. Family time. It’s all about family. But we can’t give Mom (or Dad) one dedicated day out of 365.

Want to know what people really value? Read their checkbook. Peruse their calendar. Actions speak louder than words. And your children are listening.