Advice for a 20-year-old Me

Awhile back I was asked to do a guest post for Tess Hardwick’s blog  about advice I would give my 20-year-old self. I recently came across the post I did for her and I wanted to share it here:

Over the years, I’ve said many times that you couldn’t pay me enough to be twenty again.  The twenty-year-old me had a fearlessness that could only come from complete ignorance. When I look back on the person I was then, I pity her, and sometimes I laugh at her arrogance. She was struggling so hard to figure out her crazy life.

If I could somehow step into a time machine, and come face-to-face with myself, I’m sure my twenty-year-old self wouldn’t listen to a word I have to say. She was that sure she was on the right path.  She knew where she was going and where she would be in five, ten, even twenty years.

Boy was that mule-headed girl wrong on so many levels.

Nevertheless, I would try to tell her to have more compassion for others. Try to see their side.  Compassion would make her a better person all the way around.

I would tell her to trust her instincts. Whenever she didn’t listen to the nagging voice inside her head, she regretted it. She should have faith in that voice, because somehow it knows when things are a bit wonky. All her logic and reasoning can’t compare to good old intuition.

With all my heart, I would beg her to stop chasing a life that others think will make her happy. Though they meant well, they didn’t know her as well as she wanted them to, and they never would.  She felt the course others had chosen was the easy route, but it never made her happy. Not for one minute.

I would beg her to step off the path she was on, and follow her heart.  Live her dream not someone else’s. Once she does, everything else falls into place.

She should not spend one more moment with people who are negative.  They are a burden and make her doubt herself. Do not indulge them for the sake of being nice. Be positive, and stay positive, no matter what.  See what’s good in this life and embrace it.

Speak only when you have something worthwhile to contribute. Sometimes the most intelligent thing you can do is to remain quiet. Listen. Don’t make verbal white noise just to fill the silence. Often the only way to a solution is to get quiet and stay that way.

The most important thing I would tell her is how much I love her.  Even if she doesn’t listen to any of the advice I give her, I LOVE HER, because every time she stumbled, and fell she got up stronger, and wiser. Each time she got up, she etched a small piece of who I am today.

After thinking it over, I guess I would tell her not to change a thing. Instead, I would hug her, and let her that everything will work out fine. Yes, I could spare myself some pain, but I don’t think I want to. If she changed, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t know what I do today. I would not be the person I am today, and that I would regret.

~S

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