"Secure the engine room, then find me a date." "I'm multi-tasking."
Wherein Jack talks about life and other misadventures
My work is usually busy. I go in in the morning, scramble around getting things ready for lunch, work through the lunch rush, and dash off to other jobs or come home and attempt to edit. It was worse with school. I was trying to get papers done, figure Math problems out, and edit. Not the best mix in the world. At work no one really talks to me. One, we don't have the time for conversation. Two, I've been there so long they don't have to tell me what to do. I already know. Usually when one of my bosses comes to talk to me I get this sinking feeling that I've made a costumer mad or wrecked havoc somewhere without meaning to. The last thing I expected was for one of them to attempt to set me up on a date.
It happened when I was getting ready to run to my other job and one boss narrowed in on me and asked, "Are you single?"
I've been asked that before, sort of. Usually it is from snickering, older guys and comes out like, "You're like, what, thirteen now? Got a boyfriend yet?" "I'm twenty-six, I love comic book movies and I can ride a motorcycle. And climb a mountain. You'd think the interest in Marvel movies - adding the fact I don't like them because of the fellow's arms - would be enough to get boys to take an interest in me. But no, all the boys I've ever met tend to go running."
The way she asked me this sent my mind into shut down mode. (This is when someone asks me something I know I won't like the follow up to and I panic and try and find the nearest escape.) "Do you want to watch a movie?" And my brain, "Why? Do you want to watch a movie? Are you asking that because I have been unable to keep the conversation going? Did I mess up or say something stupid? I will give it another try, promise! Or do you really want to watch a movie? Please don't make me pick, I don't know what movies you like! What if I pick the wrong one?!"
Trying to pretend I wasn't ready to jump over the counter and flee the scene, I told her I was single. At the same time my head boss and friend walked up and said, "That question is usually followed by, 'What are you doing Friday night?'" I laughed at him. Haha. Never happened to me before. Ever. Unfortunately he was right. (I hate it when people are right about certain things.)
"I have this friend who is interested in you."
That was what set in the real panic. "You have a friend interested in me? Why is he interested in me? I've never met him. Is he a stalker? Who is he? He isn't one of those guys I had to give a free cookie to on Valentine's Day, is he? Because I was under orders to do that and it was a cruddy deal anyways. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't have asked a single girl to give out cookies to hungry guys on Valentine's Day. That're pretty much a marriage proposal right there, but I didn't mean it. I was doing what I was told so I could keep my job." This was all on the inside. On the outside I looked like Sherlock when Watson asked him to be his best man.
She talked some more after that while head boss stood back and snickered at me. (We have a weird friendship, he and I. He's a brilliant boss. He's like a big brother to everyone and looks out for us and picks on us sometimes. But in this case it took a bit for his protective, big brother mode to kick in.)
"He asked me to set you two up."
That set in more panic. The only fellows who ever took an interest in me were desperate. And I was single. And it didn't go further then a couple conversations with me before they decided I was a bit too insane for them. I think I stood there with a dumb founded look on my face the whole time she was trying to get me to do....I actually have no idea what. (Maybe she wanted me to tell her she could give him my phone number. I still kind of wish I knew what I was supposed to say to her, or what she wanted. I went through stages of, "What is he, a chicken? He couldn't come and talk to me himself." to, "He is totally a stalker. I need my cousin to come in here and scare him off.") Anyways...so yes, I did a Sherlock the whole time. She even started to stammer, which made me feel bad but no brilliant suggestions on dates or setting up or anything came to mind. Thankfully, head boss went into big brother mode finally and ended the conversation by saying something about how it was kind of strange for someone to come in and ask about one of his employees.
Since then....well, since then I still don't know who he is. I know his name, and I have taken to examining the names on debt cards. (You know, so I at least can maybe find out who he is and dodge behind the counter whenever he comes in. Make one of my other bosses - they are managers, but whatever - go and scare him off. This one has this sinister looking beard and is like...almost seven feet tall. He is very nice, but unless you talk to him you wouldn't know it. He looks like some kind of Assassin or Mercenary. I'm hiring him when I take over the world.) Anyways, I could make him go and talk to my mysterious....whatever it is he might be. There is also my cousin idea.
And since I am on life stories and this one kind of connects with that one I will explain about my cousin. My cousin is handsome, there is no way around it. He's tall, blond, muscled, and looks nothing like me. We just can't really pass for cousins. (He is also like another brother. He looks out for me as much as my brothers - and for the record. My brothers would chase of stalkers, but for this part of the story it wouldn't work because it is obvious we are siblings. We can't pass for anything but.)
Okay, back to the story.
Like I mentioned, hungry guys come into work. And I am a girl. And I serve them food. For that brief moment while I am taking taking their orders they probably think I am the prettiest thing they have ever seen. (I don't know what is going through their minds. Because I don't really know how all this works...you know, flirting and what not. I just know I keep getting funny smiles, but as soon as they have eaten I am non existent again. Not complaining by the way. These are young, hungry guys. Their mind is on food....you get the idea.) So....my cousin came in one day and ordered and sat down - after we picked on each other.Some bit later another fellow came in, gave me one of those funny smiles, and started to order. While I was taking his my cousin got up to leave and we waved good bye to each other, because that's what cousins should do. And naturally, the fellow who was giving his food request looked to see who I was waving too....who happened to be a dashing, tall, muscular blond fellow in a tee shirt....again, you get the idea. The fellow at the counter looked crushed. (I admit, I snickered later when I realized what it looked like to him.) But, to not leave this story on a bad note, once he got his food he was happy again.
Anyways...those are some of the mishaps I run into at work. And some of my better Sherlock moments. And some of my..........well, that kind of sums up my....is it called romantic life? (When it comes to this sort of thing I feel like Rodgers. "So...do you two...fondue?"
(And please don't take these stories as me being hopelessly depressed because I am 26 and never been on a date and haven't even ever got anyone interested in me but for two desperate fellows and a stalker. I gave my romantic life to God ages ago and while I am not trying to get out of meeting fellows, I am willing to accept things how they are now. In other words, I don't have a boyfriend right now and I am okay with that. Sure, I'd love to be a mummy and wife. But if that isn't what God has planned for me then I am okay with that. I just have this thing with....not knowing what to say to bosses who try and set me up on dates with a fellow who has seen me but whom I might not have seen. My spy instincts kick in and all I can think is, "ENEMY! FLEE!") Also, I've just dubbed him Mr. Stalker. It's a nickname. So....yeah...just to clear things up.
This is just a few of the things that happen to me at work. And I thought writing was exciting.
Don't forget! I am holding a contest for to celebrate the release of my next book! You can find my details on my sidebar!
ALLONS-Y!
My work is usually busy. I go in in the morning, scramble around getting things ready for lunch, work through the lunch rush, and dash off to other jobs or come home and attempt to edit. It was worse with school. I was trying to get papers done, figure Math problems out, and edit. Not the best mix in the world. At work no one really talks to me. One, we don't have the time for conversation. Two, I've been there so long they don't have to tell me what to do. I already know. Usually when one of my bosses comes to talk to me I get this sinking feeling that I've made a costumer mad or wrecked havoc somewhere without meaning to. The last thing I expected was for one of them to attempt to set me up on a date.
It happened when I was getting ready to run to my other job and one boss narrowed in on me and asked, "Are you single?"
I've been asked that before, sort of. Usually it is from snickering, older guys and comes out like, "You're like, what, thirteen now? Got a boyfriend yet?" "I'm twenty-six, I love comic book movies and I can ride a motorcycle. And climb a mountain. You'd think the interest in Marvel movies - adding the fact I don't like them because of the fellow's arms - would be enough to get boys to take an interest in me. But no, all the boys I've ever met tend to go running."
The way she asked me this sent my mind into shut down mode. (This is when someone asks me something I know I won't like the follow up to and I panic and try and find the nearest escape.) "Do you want to watch a movie?" And my brain, "Why? Do you want to watch a movie? Are you asking that because I have been unable to keep the conversation going? Did I mess up or say something stupid? I will give it another try, promise! Or do you really want to watch a movie? Please don't make me pick, I don't know what movies you like! What if I pick the wrong one?!"
Trying to pretend I wasn't ready to jump over the counter and flee the scene, I told her I was single. At the same time my head boss and friend walked up and said, "That question is usually followed by, 'What are you doing Friday night?'" I laughed at him. Haha. Never happened to me before. Ever. Unfortunately he was right. (I hate it when people are right about certain things.)
"I have this friend who is interested in you."
That was what set in the real panic. "You have a friend interested in me? Why is he interested in me? I've never met him. Is he a stalker? Who is he? He isn't one of those guys I had to give a free cookie to on Valentine's Day, is he? Because I was under orders to do that and it was a cruddy deal anyways. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't have asked a single girl to give out cookies to hungry guys on Valentine's Day. That're pretty much a marriage proposal right there, but I didn't mean it. I was doing what I was told so I could keep my job." This was all on the inside. On the outside I looked like Sherlock when Watson asked him to be his best man.
She talked some more after that while head boss stood back and snickered at me. (We have a weird friendship, he and I. He's a brilliant boss. He's like a big brother to everyone and looks out for us and picks on us sometimes. But in this case it took a bit for his protective, big brother mode to kick in.)
"He asked me to set you two up."
That set in more panic. The only fellows who ever took an interest in me were desperate. And I was single. And it didn't go further then a couple conversations with me before they decided I was a bit too insane for them. I think I stood there with a dumb founded look on my face the whole time she was trying to get me to do....I actually have no idea what. (Maybe she wanted me to tell her she could give him my phone number. I still kind of wish I knew what I was supposed to say to her, or what she wanted. I went through stages of, "What is he, a chicken? He couldn't come and talk to me himself." to, "He is totally a stalker. I need my cousin to come in here and scare him off.") Anyways...so yes, I did a Sherlock the whole time. She even started to stammer, which made me feel bad but no brilliant suggestions on dates or setting up or anything came to mind. Thankfully, head boss went into big brother mode finally and ended the conversation by saying something about how it was kind of strange for someone to come in and ask about one of his employees.
Since then....well, since then I still don't know who he is. I know his name, and I have taken to examining the names on debt cards. (You know, so I at least can maybe find out who he is and dodge behind the counter whenever he comes in. Make one of my other bosses - they are managers, but whatever - go and scare him off. This one has this sinister looking beard and is like...almost seven feet tall. He is very nice, but unless you talk to him you wouldn't know it. He looks like some kind of Assassin or Mercenary. I'm hiring him when I take over the world.) Anyways, I could make him go and talk to my mysterious....whatever it is he might be. There is also my cousin idea.
And since I am on life stories and this one kind of connects with that one I will explain about my cousin. My cousin is handsome, there is no way around it. He's tall, blond, muscled, and looks nothing like me. We just can't really pass for cousins. (He is also like another brother. He looks out for me as much as my brothers - and for the record. My brothers would chase of stalkers, but for this part of the story it wouldn't work because it is obvious we are siblings. We can't pass for anything but.)
Okay, back to the story.
Like I mentioned, hungry guys come into work. And I am a girl. And I serve them food. For that brief moment while I am taking taking their orders they probably think I am the prettiest thing they have ever seen. (I don't know what is going through their minds. Because I don't really know how all this works...you know, flirting and what not. I just know I keep getting funny smiles, but as soon as they have eaten I am non existent again. Not complaining by the way. These are young, hungry guys. Their mind is on food....you get the idea.) So....my cousin came in one day and ordered and sat down - after we picked on each other.Some bit later another fellow came in, gave me one of those funny smiles, and started to order. While I was taking his my cousin got up to leave and we waved good bye to each other, because that's what cousins should do. And naturally, the fellow who was giving his food request looked to see who I was waving too....who happened to be a dashing, tall, muscular blond fellow in a tee shirt....again, you get the idea. The fellow at the counter looked crushed. (I admit, I snickered later when I realized what it looked like to him.) But, to not leave this story on a bad note, once he got his food he was happy again.
Anyways...those are some of the mishaps I run into at work. And some of my better Sherlock moments. And some of my..........well, that kind of sums up my....is it called romantic life? (When it comes to this sort of thing I feel like Rodgers. "So...do you two...fondue?"
(And please don't take these stories as me being hopelessly depressed because I am 26 and never been on a date and haven't even ever got anyone interested in me but for two desperate fellows and a stalker. I gave my romantic life to God ages ago and while I am not trying to get out of meeting fellows, I am willing to accept things how they are now. In other words, I don't have a boyfriend right now and I am okay with that. Sure, I'd love to be a mummy and wife. But if that isn't what God has planned for me then I am okay with that. I just have this thing with....not knowing what to say to bosses who try and set me up on dates with a fellow who has seen me but whom I might not have seen. My spy instincts kick in and all I can think is, "ENEMY! FLEE!") Also, I've just dubbed him Mr. Stalker. It's a nickname. So....yeah...just to clear things up.
This is just a few of the things that happen to me at work. And I thought writing was exciting.
Don't forget! I am holding a contest for to celebrate the release of my next book! You can find my details on my sidebar!
ALLONS-Y!
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