Wrestling with a shadow

That's what writing is. Tussling and tumbling with something that is so ephemeral, it doesn't exist except in your mind or on a page. You fight with nothingness in order to form it into something that will become reality in a reader's mind, and often wonder just how close to insanity you truly are.

That's been me, all day...and just in dealing with chapter one. I shifted a lot of the detail work to after the set-up of Jake needing to find his uncle...and it works better, but I think it still needs to be clearer and cleaner. The one truly, positively great thing about this new match with Jake is, I can now clearly see that I was already aiming for this new revelation...this whole new reason behind the story.

I happened onto an image that I know will fit into the ending, some way...just don't know how, yet. The model's name is Jordan and he could be Jake in his thirties.

I still like Aidan Turner's look for Jake, so I'm not sure what this is all about. I just know the final chapter is going to be in a hotel room in Paris...and this fits it.

Damn, I wish I understood me better so I could figure out what the hell I'm doing.