Conspiracy Theories and Constipation

[image error]

When I lived in the Los Angeles area, I was sure that the men in the PacBell trucks were government agents, keeping an eye on me.  That when I snuck out, they frantically drove around, talking on their fantastic watch phones, and no matter how hard I tried to hide, within minutes, the chip imbedded in my body would give them enough of a signal for them to triangulate and blam, they would find me.  Of course, at one point with the help of several psychiatrists, and a heavy lithium...