I’ll Never Forget

I’ll never forget the way your fists put me in my place day after day.

Or the way your words shot through my chest like bullets every chance you could take.

I’ll never forget the way your knife slowly slid in between my ribs after the little snap of the blade breaking my porcelain skin.

Or the time you put the knife to my throat as you laughed and said it was just a joke.

I’ll never forget the smile on your face as you applauded my tolerance for pain as blood streamed down my face.

I’ll never forget the feeling of being slammed into your concrete floor,

or the deafening sound of your screams as you swore you’d always love me more.

I’ll never forget pissing my pants and vomiting all over your couch after you choked me until I blacked out.

I’ll never forget the way you held me after pushing me down your basement stairs and the way you softly whispered that everything would be okay, because you’d always be right there.

I’ll never forget the promises you made, because every promise was always the same.

You promised and promised and promised things would change.

I had always forgiven you and stayed right by your side.

I’ll never forget how easily you swayed me into believing in all of your excuses and all of your lies.

I’ll never forget the reflection of my broken smile as I covered up my cuts, bruises and black eyes.

And I’ll never forget the look on your face the day I finally walked away, because you never saw it coming and neither did I.

So was it Luck who brought you in my life?

Good or bad, I’ll never know.

Maybe it wasn’t Luck at all.

Maybe you were just a blessing in disguise.

-e.m.c