Reader Question: How do I Bring God Naturally into Parenting?

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Reader Question: How do I Bring God Naturally into Parenting?

Every Monday I like to put up a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it. Today I want to tackle bringing God into parenting naturally, because I’ve had quite a few questions like this:

You always talk about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids if you want them to grow up and make good decisions. But I don’t want it to sound forced! And I don’t know how to mention God without sounding preachy. How do I make it natural?

I’m going to address that question further down, but first a bit of a detour for an important announcement. Today’s the last day of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Sale. It’ll be gone at midnight EST tonight! So I thought I’d share my three of my favourite resources from the Bundle that I haven’t highlighted yet before I get to our Reader Question.

Your Retreat

Erin Odom Boyd has written this great book, with tons of printables, to help you take a one-day “retreat” and figure out your goals for the next year.

I just love it–and I’m totally doing it this summer! I’m going to relax in my hammock at a campsite and I’m going to pray and work through this having a “silent” day. I just love planners, but this one is different. She helps you brainstorm all the different things that are important to you, but then she helps you focus in on the three or four that you really want to stress over the year, since you can’t do everything. It’s wonderful!

Steady Days: A Journey Towards Intentional, Professional Motherhood

Be intentional. Be purposeful. I say that over and over again in this blog. But how do you do that when your life consists of laundry and kids not wanting to eat what’s on their plate and a toddler crying every time you try to have quality time with an older child?

Jamie Martin has written a great book to help you take “baby steps” towards making your motherhood journal intentional.

She lived in chaos for a while, because Jamie’s journey to motherhood was different than most. They adopted two small children and then had a baby in the space of a year. That’s a lot of change! And Jamie realized she couldn’t do it unless she took it seriously and made a plan.

Ironically, when we take it more seriously, we’re also able to experience more joy in motherhood.

Here’s a great resource to help you become more intentional.

Restoring the Lost Petal–a Look at Soul Ties

Oh, my goodness, I love this book! This fits in so well with this blog that as soon as I read my copy (we were given the bundle a few weeks ago so we could scout everything out for you) I contacted the author, Danielle Tate, to guest post on this blog.

But here’s the basic premise:

A lot of us are dealing with “soul ties” from previous relationships, and this wonderful devotional helps walk you through the steps to break those ties. Some of those steps are spiritual–like praying–but many are also practical. It’s a chance to reset yourself the way Jesus wants you to, and give a new start to your marriage. I love it!

So there you go–three more resources I love from the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

But there are so many more–and of course over $200 worth of freebies! So if you haven’t picked it up yet, get it now, because it will be gone forever at midnight tonight.

Get your Ultimate Homemaking Bundle now! It’s available in .pdf form, or specially formatted for Kindle.

Okay, now let’s look at that question.

How do we bring God into our parenting naturally?

1. God has to be a natural part of your life.

You can’t just “naturally” talk about God if you don’t actually know Him. If you’re feeling nervous, and you don’t know what to say, and you don’t want to sound stupid, and you’re wondering if your kids will even listen to you, then I’d suggest taking a month or so and really trying to get closer to God. Snatch moments through the day for your devotions if you have to. Join a Bible study that meets weekly and start praying out loud there–force yourself! I know it’s awkward, but the more we can do these things, the less awkward it gets. Things are awkward when they’re new. When they’re not as new, it’s a lot easier.

So if you’re feeling awkward, it may be a sign not that your parenting is off but that you need to spend more time with God first!

2. You need time to talk

Dr. Laura once said that “quality time grows out of quantity time”, and I totally believe that. You can’t expect to have deep conversations with kids if you don’t actually get much time with them. So limit your extracurricular activities (I can’t stress enough how important this is!). Have technology free times, like over the dinner hour, when you can talk. Try to eat dinner as a family, rather than scattering.

If you know you’re growing apart from one of your kids, your instinct may be to grab hold hard. That often causes the child to withdraw. A better approach is simply to find more time when you aren’t busy when you can just be with your child–with no agenda. The best conversations come from times when you’re just hanging out.

3. Do things together

My youngest daughter and I get into the best talks when we go for walks together, which we try to do daily, especially now that the weather’s cooperating more. Getting outside is somehow calming, too. You can hear the birds, and see nature, and the computer and phone aren’t always beckoning.

Other people swear that their best conversations happen in the car. If that’s true for you, try to chauffeur kids to things one on one, if possible. Have your husband watch some kids and have some special time in the car with one child.

4. Own up to your mistakes

The best teaching times I’ve had with my girls are when I’ve messed up. When I haven’t been the best mom, and have lost my temper too quickly, or have let them down, that’s when I can really model God to them.

Take those opportunities to offer a heartfelt apology, and then model a prayer of confession when you remind your kids that you’ve also sinned against God. Ask for their forgiveness. When we’re open about the ways that we’ve messed up, it makes it easier for kids to see where they also mess up. And I honestly don’t think you can have a relationship with God unless you first see that you mess up. Without sin there’s no need for salvation. So let them see it, and let them see that confession isn’t weakness. It’s good to acknowledge our faults, and to do it quickly when we make mistakes.

5. Make use of great resources

The first four suggestions will give you more time to talk and will hopefully open the doors to communication because you’re spending more time with God and with the kids. But if you want to be really intentional, sometimes we still need some help!

Here are just a few resources from the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle that I just love for this purpose exactly.

Fruit of the Spirit: Learning to Speak Life

Many of us want to do “family devotions”, but we don’t know where to start.

And I have to admit–the vast majority of family devotionals I’ve found in Christian bookstores are, to put it simply, lame.

Learning to Speak Life isn’t. It’s wonderful! Each fruit of the spirit has a week to work through, and there are stories, role playing games, verses to memorize, family activities–even a big volunteer activity you can do as a family if you so choose.

It’s got thoughts for different ages, which is so important if you have kids spanning a wide age range in your family.

And it’s super easy to do. It doesn’t need a lot of set-up. You can just incorporate it into your dinner together. If more families did this, we’d be raising kids who were excited about God!

Filling Hearts While Cleaning Homes

Turn everyday things like chores into opportunities to speak God’s word into their lives!

These printables are awesome! All kinds of chores, like dusting, sorting the recycling, watering the plants, and more, are given a Scriptural story and verse and a little activity to do with your kids. They’re awfully fun, though probably best for kids 4-9.

More Than Candy–a 25 Day Countdown to Christmas that Counts!

I know Christmas is still 8 months away, but this is a book you’re going to want to have on hand.

I was so impressed with Sarah Mae’s countdown to Christmas. She’s got such supremely hands-on, practical ways to bring home the Christmas message to your kids so that Christmas becomes meaningful. Interwoven in the days are volunteering ideas, ideas to make carols more relevant, and more. The aim of it is to make sure that our families are gifts to our communities, not just that our families are waiting to see what gifts they get.

This one is awesome! If you want to start conversations with your kids, here’s a great guide to make a Christmas they’ll remember for all the right reasons.

Those are just three resources you can use with your kids to bring God into your parenting naturally. I’ve talked about others on this blog, too, including Barrett Johnson’s book The Talks (not part of the Homemaking Bundle) which helps you talk to your kids about dating and sex, and even using Anglican prayer books if you just can’t pray out loud. We’ve read prayers at the dining room table before. It can be a lovely family experience. And the younger you start it, the more natural it becomes.

I know sometimes we feel awkward, but take a deep breath and remember: I’m just sharing with my kids my own heart. I’m sharing something that’s important to me. If those things are true, then you’ll find it much easier to parent with God.

Now let me know: how do you bring God in to your parenting naturally? Leave a comment and tell us!

Remember, don’t miss the Homemaking Bundle! It’s gone tonight at midnight EST.

And great news! If money is tight in April, then you can wait to pay until May!

You can order it today, but then not pay until May 1! (You also don’t get access to the bundle until May 1, but for some of you, this may be a great option.)

Buy it on Kindle but Pay in May

Buy it in .pdf but Pay in May

Remember, it’s up at midnight tonight!