A Guy's Perspective on Being a Model Partner
In The Dominion Post's “Your Weekender” I follow the usually entertaining column of Haydn Jones.
In his latest, he claims to “introduce [the reader] to the cult of multiple personalities”. He asserts, I assume tongue in cheek, that the man at work, and the man who sits down to dinner with his family, or goes to a stag do, or who plays sport has a different personality for each.
He admires “the brutal honesty” of husbands that “tell their wives exactly how it is all the time.” He says, “They would fart in a car on a first date if they really had to ... a rare breed” but “endearing”.
He proposes (also tongue in cheek no doubt) that “in a perfect world, 95% honesty seems a sensible ratio”. But then, he confesses that he “loves” his “inner child”.
Only children can get away with being brutally honest 95% of the time.
It led me to reflecting about marital relationships. Mutual trust in marriage is always vital but, I ask myself, does a wife really want brutal honesty from her husband?
It’s not a perfect world so there’s no right ratio of honesty for every situation.
What woman, once married, would accept for example the brutal honesty of being told bluntly about her weaknesses or failures?
So, if you're a guy and you want to spare her feelings, just don’t get caught out in a lie. Women don’t seem to understand that particular motivation. And don’t expect ready forgiveness if, in the end, you’re trapped into telling the truth.
In his latest, he claims to “introduce [the reader] to the cult of multiple personalities”. He asserts, I assume tongue in cheek, that the man at work, and the man who sits down to dinner with his family, or goes to a stag do, or who plays sport has a different personality for each.
He admires “the brutal honesty” of husbands that “tell their wives exactly how it is all the time.” He says, “They would fart in a car on a first date if they really had to ... a rare breed” but “endearing”.
He proposes (also tongue in cheek no doubt) that “in a perfect world, 95% honesty seems a sensible ratio”. But then, he confesses that he “loves” his “inner child”.
Only children can get away with being brutally honest 95% of the time.
It led me to reflecting about marital relationships. Mutual trust in marriage is always vital but, I ask myself, does a wife really want brutal honesty from her husband?
It’s not a perfect world so there’s no right ratio of honesty for every situation.
What woman, once married, would accept for example the brutal honesty of being told bluntly about her weaknesses or failures?
So, if you're a guy and you want to spare her feelings, just don’t get caught out in a lie. Women don’t seem to understand that particular motivation. And don’t expect ready forgiveness if, in the end, you’re trapped into telling the truth.
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